nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, August 28, 2015

    what it feel like to be a gen x stereotype 

    crazy ladyi want to drive, i dont want to drive.

    its 7am. i could get a few rides in before work but im sitting here writing you. im motivated and unmotivated. im katy perry because im hot and im cold. im in then im out.

    drove ok yesterday. first of the week. everything went fine. even caught an airport ride from the place where i shoulda gotten one, to the place where they shoulda gone. afterwards i drove home, ate some of jeanine’s homemade chili and watched fox news lose its mind that on one side they cant control trump and on the other hand now hillary is calmly calling them terrorists.

    this morning erik erickson is waving the white flag of surrender, saying the GOP is over. dead. finito. and of course he puts a picture of abe lincoln on there AS IF THE GOP HAS HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH HONEST ABE SINCE THE 1800s.

    he’s just butthurt that his bff the Koch Bros cant beat Obama, can’t beat Trump, and next year wont be able to beat Hillary. instead of saying that he is part of the problem and this problem started when Reagan traded arms for hostages, he blames the real estate tycoon from new york.

    bro, you and your party lied about 9/11, lied about iraq, then did everything they could to dishonor and block the first black president from doing Anything in office despite what the american people wanted.

    the american people want universal health care.

    the american people want equal rights for all, including the gays and lesbians.

    the american people want and end of the drug war.

    and the american people, year after year, are more diverse, interesting, and courageous than those we see on Fox News.

    a thousand years later, we still want our MTV.

    the GOP is dead in the water because it has failed to change with the times and it has failed because it has been sucking on the teet of the 1% while preaching to the base that this is what you do if youre patriotic or some shit.

    actually i dont know what they preach other than fear



    i do want to drive but i also want to write. i want to write about how this is the 10th anniversary of katrina and 10 years ago the busblog would get 50 comments a post on topics like this and more on topics like black people loot, white people borrow.

    katrina was an a-1 example that Bush was a puppet for Cheney and didn’t know what to do when it was his time to really lead. because the VP didn’t give one crap about climate change or the environment or the suffering people of New Orleans, he didn’t know how to instruct W as to what to do down there, so W flew over it and later told Brownie heck of a job.

    black people looting?if erik erickson wants to point fingers on when this country realized that the GOP was only in it for the money, look no further than that moment, because it was obvs that they werent in public service for the public.

    do i think its over for the republicans? no. they will survive only because the democrats have their own dirty diaper of problems that they refuse to clean up. they too are beholden to the rich. they refuse to abolish money from politics. they are terrified of falling on the sword. even though they see with their own eyes how Obama has been able to push his agendas through the system, theyre too cowardly to do as he did.

    and for damn sure theyre terrified to take on the NSA, the pentagon, and the NRA. so a pox on their house too.

    to quote the first batman movie, this town needs an enema, and Donald Trump smells like the right one to give it to them.

    we may all die in the process, but the good thing is, if youve been a good little boy or girl, when you die you go to heaven.

  2. this is barely even on a bob dylan album 

    it didnt make the cut for Blonde on Blonde even though dylan took 19 takes of it.

    even though it’s amazing.

    even though even with the abrupt ending, it’s perfect.

    Yes, you, you just sit around and ask for ashtrays, can’t you reach?

    the only way you can buy it is to spend $33 – or stream it.

    how incredible is that? its almost like he doesnt want us to have it.

    this is how art should be.

    all the time.

    art should always play hard to get when its this good.

  3. Thursday, August 27, 2015
  4. last night i had dinner and gelato with a pretty girl 


    we talked about all sorts of things ranging from sex drugs rock

    then she asked me if i ever had one who got away.

    they all got away.

    or i wasnt ready for any of them.

    or if i was ready they werent ready.

    but ready for what?

    all we have is this moment. isnt that all we should want?

    isnt this all a walk in the woods?

    do we really want all the stuff to walk with us?

    doesnt enough of it come anyways?

    you never know what will happen when you answer those sorts of questions honestly, so you might as well.

    i tolder no one ever got away because no ones mine to begin with

    im not even mine.

    theres a picture of me when im like 10 in little league. for so long i wanted to stay true to that kid. but that kid had no idea what was gonna happen today.

    actually that kid used to say: wouldnt it be great if every time you turned on the tv it showed you right where you left off right before you turned it off?

    so maybe he did know whats up.

  5. Wednesday, August 26, 2015

    it was Born to Run’s birthday yesterday, it’s 40 

    born to run

    i took a long walk last night for a few reasons. one was because i wanted to rest my hands.

    the other was because uber has hired way too many cars and i didnt get one ride after work.

    so i walked.

    and as i walked i listened to Born To Run on its birthday and was amazed as always.

    im a weirdo. if i love a record i wont play it. i dont want it to get old. i never want to be bored of Born to Run.

    bruuuucehow do you start a record with Thunder Road? hows that even possible? it’s possible if thats your only song. or maybe if you only have two good songs.

    but when all of the songs are ridiculously good and different how you gonna just have a screen door slam as Mary’s dress sways?

    when Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out comes on you realize Thunder Road was just an alley to TAFO’s oop?!


    it was all just an intro for The Big Man?

    no wonder from the coastline to the city all the little pretties raise their hands.

    “Night” i can live without. perfectly fine. and for sure id take it on one of Bruce’s current albums, but what the hell is this Backstreets? probably the most overlooked tune on this record. just as dramatic as any of the others. just as idealistic. just as emotional.

    theres a reason the best Bruce zine back in the day was called Backstreets. fuck.

    side two and there’s Born to Run. a song so iconic and perfect when i listen to it i think about the time i walked past this normal apartment house and its door was open and i could see inside and above the couch was a framed print of the Mona Lisa.

    its like who puts the mona lisa in their house? are they being ironic? is it a beautiful joke? is it the funniest joke in the world?

    how about this for the funniest joke in the world: springsteen was about to be fired from Columbia. his first two records (the wild and the innocent, and greetings from asbury park) were not really flops, but the label were disappointed with their sales. they wanted to give Bruce just

    one. more. chance.

    and that last chance turned out to be the mona lisa: born to run.

    the joke is today labels dont give bands three records. you get one. one and done. theres no vision theres no patience. theres no artist DEVELOPMENT. as much as i love bruce’s first two records, and trust me LOVE is the word, theyre not born to run.

    and that song. holy.

    that song is so strong its almost ashame that something has to follow it. who bats after The Babe?

    big man and bruceGehrig. and in this case that’s She’s The One.

    another anthem. another pleading wolf in the moonlight

    With her long hair falling / And her eyes that shine like a midnight sun

    oooooooooooh ohhhhhhhh shes the one!

    fuck bon jovi.

    bon jovi has no shes the one following no born to run. fucking fakers. yet radio wants to pretend they do.

    but we’re not done. theres still two songs left on this record. the super 70s Meeting Across The River which is basically the origin story of The Sopranos

    and then Jungleland

    it’s almost as interesting to think about how Jungleland ends than to think about what happens in it because it ends like three times. and the whole band is involved, just like how they are through the album.

    its a team effort.

    Meeting is about a dark, solo, borderline evil and definitely illegal venture

    but Jungleland is about a team.

    so as much as we are right to praise Bruce on the 40th birthday of one of music’s finest rock records, we also gotta give it up to the E Street Band for delivering something so mighty and so strong that it makes so much of todays robot music feel as shallow and ridiculous as it is.

    happy birthday Mary and Wendy, Scooter and The Big Man

    it is right for all the little pretties to raise their hands

  6. weird satanist guy began as weird gamer guy 

    today the web is aflutter with this video from a verbose bearded gentleman who


    is pretty damn funny with his crazy ticks and well-rehearsed monologues

    but he didn’t just spring up from the River Styx and into our hearts

    he first hit the web here in LA back in 2012 as weird gamer guy


    so is it all an act? does he really worship Satan? what about Diablo?

    does he ever shave his beard?

    will he soon have a late night talk show where he welcomes other satanist video game players who talk as weirdly wonderfully as he does?

    or will he just run the jewels

  7. Tuesday, August 25, 2015

    some days i have nothing to say 

    kris bryant

    and then i’ll hear a neighbor being unreasonably loud in the early morning

    or i’ll get an angry email from a lost love

    or my cats will do something adorable and almost human like

    or some asswipe on my television will outdo themselves

    or my beloved chicago cubs will win a game with a bottom of the ninth home run

    or i’ll be totally inspired by something unexpected and beautiful

    or i’ll see it’s the anniversary of the day when a pretty girl was generous to me

    or it’ll be one of my heroes birthdays which will remind me of a time i saw them in concert and wept.

    one of the good things about being a million years old is you know how your body works

    you know how your mind works

    you know when the best times to do things are and how to do it and what will happen afterwards

    and so you try to do that all day but the interesting thing about the day

    is the day has a mind of its own

    and does not give one crap what you think

    and thats when the fun begins.

  8. Monday, August 24, 2015

    Grateful Dead to tour while fronted by John Mayer 

    dead and company

    Life is often wrong.

    Maybe it’s so we can appreciate it when it’s going well.

    The Dead, minus Phil, made a bad choice today. They don’t care because acid and money.

    Here’s who they should have gone on their 5 city tour with instead of Mayer.

    Tom Petty

    Eric Clapton

    Los Lobos

    Bob Dylan

    Jack White


    Wayne Conye

    Bono & the Edge

    David Gilmore

    Mark Knofler

    Elvis Costello

    J Mascis

    Richard Thompson

    The Donnas


  9. woke up this morning and the stock market was collapsing 

    uber on

    it had lost 1,000 points before i could even get the paper.

    my txt messages were streaming in

    sell! buy! hold! sell! buy! ifyoudoanythingyoureanidiot!

    one of my problems is im a sucker for deals.

    if anything is on sale i’ll be tempted. and if it’s two things, man.

    but 10 things?

    like 10 shares of apple for a grand?

    no way is that gonna stay at that price i thought.

    it’s apple. the gold standard.

    lolitathey “failed” with that stupid watch and things were still fine.

    theyre gonna win again. they’ll think something up.

    they’ll make a periscope or a “magazine” or a space ship.

    didnt i hear they were gonna get into the tv business?

    cars? car stereos? hoverboards? shape shifters?

    who’s coming to get em? Google? ha!

    whats Google done lately any good?

    theyre following the leader. theyre gonna make self driving cars too.

    good luck with that buddies. and get ready to get sued any time theres a car accident.

    thats your fault google, you built it, not mine?


    yahoo? no. one day Apple is gonna make a cheap version of their MacBooks and take the whole sector.

    same with phones. not everyone has a grand to spend on a computer.

    but 10 shares of stock? hmmmmm.

    no way those 10 shares arent worth twice that in a year.

    when they Have figured out the watch, and the tv, and the remote.

    i need an apple remote.

    i still have too many remotes.

    why isnt my phone my remote? why do i have this tv remote, my Roku remote and my cable box remote?

    where the fuck is Siri?

    Siri turn on the damn tv.

    You know it’s Wopner Time!

    damn girl.

    bought those shits at 100

    and held my breath as they rose to 109 and settled at 103.

    97 mo to go, ghost of steve jobs

    97 mo to go


  10. four years ago i was in an office writing about politics 

    trumpbut really i was writing about donald trump.

    back then he was obsessed over President Obama’s birth certificate.

    the thing im impressed about Trump is he was proved wrong about his concern about where the president was born, and yet it hasn’t hurt his popularity or perceived electability.

    many moons ago Howard Dean excitedly yelled funny and that disqualified him from being presidential.

    Trump is wrong all the time. laughably so. but conservative voters dont care. my question is: have they ever cared?

    they didnt care when W invaded iraq over WMDs and links to 9/11 that proved to be wrong. indeed, they re-elected him.

    they don’t care that so many of their leaders are wrong about climate change, the war on drugs, or how to tax the wealthy.

    all they care about is does that fucker have an (R) next to his name.

    will they keep the government away from their guns, will they fight the unfightable fight against abortions, and will they stop taxing us omg omg.

    these voters dont care if their anti-gay politicians turn out to be secretly gay. these voters dont care if their politicians are in the pocket of big business and provide them with more welfare than the poor.

    and weirdly, they dont care that their party’s politics hardly ever work.

    so here comes trump, a guy who recently supported Hillary Clinton, and they’re all about him.

    PLEASE KISS MY BABY! they cry.

    YOU HAVE WHAT WE ALL WANT! they scream

    (and whats that?)