busblog

and now we’re all up in the coolest billboard in town.

it’s nice to be on the upswing of things

again.

first ashton, and now laughing gas?

i mean we are all addicted to certain things: drugs, booze, douchebags, blogging…

but at 49 years old, wealthy to high heaven, beautiful, beloved: and the best you can do is whip-its while sobbing over king trucker hat?

oh how the mighty have fallen.

deep down i dont blame demi. i blame ashton.

demi wasnt dying hard like this with my man bruce willis.

and i know i know people are responsible for their lives, but to me the number one person who is most influential in your life is the one you get naked with.

and if that person is letting you slide into a ridiculously stupid dark place, not only is it on you but its on them.

i thought he loved you. i thought he was your bff. i thought you were “together”.

or were you really just stopping each other from sexxing others?

for if you were really together then youd help each other keep it together.

demi allowed ashton to fully fly his douche flag, which is a fail – we need women to help us!

and now ashton is clearly the impetus behind demi’s free fall into the hospital. punk!

listen, Angel, HOW CAN YOU SET THE CLOCK ON CHARLIE’S VCR

IF YOU’RE PASSED OUT ON NITROUS?!!?

you need to get it together, cuz clearly your man is still very much a boy.

now get outta that ER bed and rise like laz

and much hotter laz

and quit letting the ‘bag rub off on your game.

yep, pretty much yep.

might have to go outside this weekend since i didnt really last weekend

on account of the rain and the work and the playoffs.

there was a time when they didnt have a hype week in between the playoffs and the Super Bowl

i didnt like that time. i like this time. i like this time almost all the time.

do you like this time?

there was a time when things were different and i was taller and stronger and richer and thinner

and thankfully i keep pretty detailed journals to aid my memory: i didnt like those times much.

i may have smiled and pretended all was good in the hood. hood wasnt all that.

is your life a blank slate? is your future unwritten?

are you writing your present or is something else? like Fate or Life or Destiny?

i wanna write my present. i dont wanna be tied to anyone elses weirdness why would i?

but with that said if anna kournikova was all, yo tp f enrique lets travel the world in 2012

i could be tempted.

but i dont know if i have that many vacation days accrued

yet.

i think people should rock the mic more

i think people should hit the gas more

i think people should try new hairdos more

i think people should say one extra nice thing each day

i think people should love themselves more

i think people should give two bucks to the poor more

i think people should consider possibilities more

i think people should trust a little more

i think people should say i love you mom more

i think people should consider peace more

i think people should say thank you black man more

i think people should practice guitar (behind their back) more

i think people should try new restaurants more

i think people should say f u popular concepts more

i think people should make it rain more

i think people should read charles bukowski more

i think people should do things that freak them out more

i think people should meditate more

i think people should take the long way home more

i think bad drivers should die

because we are finally gonna announce our new VP.

i think its gonna be sass.

she has the greatest life. for the last few months shes been in NYC

right now shes in South Beach. i think soon she will be back here in Hollywood.

who doesnt want that sorta life?

strangely if you read her secret blog, she doesnt want it.

she wants to meet a nice man, settle down and stop living out of a suit case.

me, if i was a smokin hot young girl with a closet full of party clothes id totally embrace the jet setting suite lifestyle

but i guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the ipad.

anyways hi sass!

you shoulda seen how much fun i used to be.

i think my fun was in my afro.

trying to get out.

maybe im my funnest at work where things are going a thousand miles an hour.

today i worked late, i was only in one official meeting, yet the day sped fast.

good thing i had a boston market chicken pot pie for lunch with a side of steamed veggies.

what did you have for lunch today?

you know we just dont talk any more.

i say my blah blah blah and you say your blah blah blah.

this space used to be the honesty hq despite the nothing in here is true blah blah

i was so busy i even made an international phone call.

i was so busy i had to take a sexual harassment test online for TWO HOURS

which had some pretty funny examples of men behaving badly (and women).

i actually did learn a few things about the law

but i love how PC the online quizzes were. if you were wrong, instead of saying WRONG it said

There is a better answer.

baby theres always a better answer.

likewise, i could be funner.

miss minnesota changed everything in my little world of blogging.

i learned that republican girls from the midwest could put aside politics when it came to life

sure she was dating a billionaire for a while, but who isnt these days?

sure she was younger than me by a lot, but we had so much in common

fast food, springsteen, tsar, california.

the list went on longer than i thought it would.

but like most midwesterners she loved the west coast but loved her home more.

i only wish she loved blogging because hers was super great for a little while there

then something happened. what? who knows!

i know: a tragedy. she stopped writing.

etorre turned into e-alto and the internet sighed.

for lindsays birthday i hope she starts writing again, her tales were true and interesting.

she was one of the only women in minnesota telling fascinating stories of complicated dalliances

and real life struggles.

i know its hard to write every day when youre working 15 hour days,

but thats why al gore invented Tumblr.

and why the boss once sang

“and the poets out here dont write nothin at all, they just sit back and let it all be”

dont let it all be.

but happy birthday to one of the very few people who blew my mind in the last 100 years.

and win twins.

saw the Artist last night at the Vista. finally.

pretty good film. the audience clapped at the end, which is always a good sign.

it was the 7pm screening at the Los Feliz movie house, my favorite place to see a film.

any movie shot around hollywood, especially those in black and white

and a silent movie, at that, is totally fine with me

but i felt like something was missing.

something keeping it from being an Oscar-worthy film of the year.

i dont think the Descendants had it either, or The Help, and certainly not Bridesmaids

Woody’s movie was good too, but that wasnt best picture neither.

last year there were so many movies that shoulda been best picture:

Toy Story 3, Into the Void, Scott Pilgrim…

but this year i’m still waiting for something to knock my socks off.

guess i gotta see Hugo and Incredibly Loud

anyways one of the big themes about The Artist revolves around change

and as i sit in my apartment of 10 years and all the crap on my shelves of over 20 years

and my body of almost 130 years, that part definitely spoke to me.

and the fact that even in Indiana high schools they have

auxiliary gyms where the second half of the game was played

ah, america

ah, the mid west

a victory