busblog

then something every day next week.

i suppose i should be happy about all of that.

but it is a little weird that i try pretty hard not to have anything planned

and yet theres rarely a full day to do nada.

i suppose one day i will get my wish.

and that day i’ll probably be bummed.

Kyle Fitzpatrick has quickly become one of LA’s top bloggers

Today’s roundup on LA I’m Yours of a dozen budget date spots couldn’t be more on the money.

Witness:

Pink’s Hot Dogs
We’d never suggest Pink’s for anything else ever. We try to stay as far away from that tourist trappy La Brea landmark, which just sells OK hot dogs and is always at least an hour wait. However, it would be a very cute place to go to on a date–especially a first date–as the two of you would be going to this super cheesy, slightly stupid place, probably waiting in line for up to an hour, which provides perfect fodder for talking and people watching and being cute as you decide which hot dog you want. It’s also dirt cheap because, duh, it’s hot dogs.

Daikokuya
For similar reasons, Little Tokyo’s Daikokuya would be perfect for a date. It’s a place that almost always has a long line and is a super intimate space. The only difference between here and Pink’s is that Daikokuya is actually good. We recommend that you go a time before if you haven’t been and try their basic Daikokuya Ramen. The reason we say to do this is so when you and your date go you know how to eat the dish and you can show your date how it’s done. Who *wouldn’t* think it’s cute to be taught how to eat ramen? Also, totally metro accessible and Little Tokyo is super cute for wandering around before and after your meal.

What would i add?

How about some shrimp tacos at The Best Fish Taco in Ensenada followed by a walk over to Paradis for a scoop of ice cream? (They even have several flavors of vegan ice cream if your date rolls that way.)

What nice about Paradis’ location is that if things are going nicely and you’d like to keep it going theres the Los Feliz 3 a few blocks to the north if you’d like to take in a film, or the Good Luck bar a few blocks to the southeast.

a long time ago someone had the bright idea to teach some very special young people a variety of skills

reportedly to better protect the usa.

and what they couldnt teach theyd re-engineer.

one of those skills was the ability to read peoples minds, also known as the lie detector.

only problem was it didnt really work properly (at first).

the result was many unfortunate agents were overwhelmed with hearing the thoughts of dozens of people in their radius at one time, which confused them at first

and depressed them almost immediately.

americans, it seemed, in the mid 80s, were bummed.

one agent couldnt stand it and hastily created special eyeglasses that could regulate the amount of esp signal that would reach his mind.

his cohorts literally owed him their lives when he improved and then shared his invention with them.

eventually he tried to create a volume control of sorts that rested in the agent’s pocket to regulate the amount of “signal”,

but most of the xbi just left their glasses on and blocked out the thoughts of their fellow americans. unless they absolutely needed to know things.

but usually even small doses of absolute esp was enough to turn even the toughest agent worthless.

and after a while it became obvious that the agents who didn’t wear glasses had something unique about their personalities.

not only could they withstand the steady stream of human pessimism and lies, but weirdly most of the small subset of agents quickly turn into the most strangely upbeat and positive characters.

out of frustration one day, a paranoid commander attempted to ridicule what would soon become the elite class of xbi by calling the non-glasses wearers Cubfans,

a slight the officer assumed would insult the handful of men and women who had no problem with the unfiltered data.

but instead it bonded them.

and to rub it in his face, they wore Cubs hats

all the damn time.

everywhere.

hi future. hope things are going well at 12:22pm.

yesterday at lunch i had some bad fish. i got it at this sushi place where the food is on little boats.

the boats float around the place and you grab a little dish and eat it and say ahhhhhhh.

sadly after few hours the stomach and the fish were all AHHHHHHHHHH

and i had to leave work about an hour earlier than i wanted to.

b/c every time i stood up i got dizzy and i felt like my face was turning green.

my belly and i have a weird relationship. always has.

when i was a kid it didnt like hardly anything in it. during college i weighed like 120 pounds.

i could barely eat a whole slice of pizza.

but soon after college everything was coolio so i ate EVERYTHING. but now i have a gut.

some of the ladies dont mind. in fact some think its sexy. but of course most dont. nor do i.

so last night when all by belly would tolerate was saltines that was fine cuz i did eat a bit in vegas.

however this morning during my morning constitutional it was a bit odd to smell crackers again.

in the last year the worst my stomach ever felt was in the photo above when etienne and i were eating poutine at mcdonalds

we were up to something. it was secret. even though im xbi, i really dont like secrets and my belly Hates them.

and all that cheese and gravy and french fries and happiness and stress and pre stress made me cray.

strangely i miss all of that, future.

probs b/c im cray times a zillion.

howard stern’s long time radio sidekick robin quivers said on the show that doctors discovered a 5-inch mass near her bladder.

said Quivers:

“[The doctor] lowered the boom. He took me out. I was devastated… [Sirius executive] Tim [Sabean] called me right after I left his office. I was a mess… America’s Got Talet was coming on… I wanted you [Howard] to enjoy the show… He went along this line of what they might have to do in order to remove this… I saw it… It’s as big as a grapefruit… Some of the outcomes are not that good… It’s not a death thing… but those outcomes aren’t acceptable to me… I don’t want to talk about it.”

Yesterday Howard asked Robin why she wasn’t available when he called her Monday after the show.

Robin, 59, said, “You must have called the phone that was left in Pittsburgh. I was busy all day with testing.”

In the middle of Monday’s show Robin told Howard and the listeners that she was wearing a “pee bag” to which Howard said, “Boy we are geting old.”

Robin said, “I’m wearing a catheter. So when you see me, I’m peeing. It just constantly goes.”

Quivers has been a vegan for a number of years which includes a liquid diet that has been joked about on the show involving “green drinks”. shes also been known to travel around the world on spiritual journeys.

when robin isn’t in the studio the show loses its balance and turns into a frat house, howard has admitted.

she is the secret weapon to America’s most popular radio show of all time.

she will certainly be in my prayers tonight.

1. half my clothes
2. a saltines box
3. a baseball mitt
4. a roll of tp
5. a broomstick
6. todays newspaper
7. yesterdays newspaper
8. sundays newspaper
9. saturdays newspaper
10. a towel named babblefish
11. a suitcase filled with vegas
12. three amazing books
13. an empty can of ginger ale
14. a yankee candle
15. this months good housekeeping

i was all, bands play at the park?

someone you know said um yeah at the race track.

i was like get out. and then i was sent this:

Friday Nights at Hollywood Park

May 18th – G. Love & Special Guest
May 25th – SOJA
June 1st – Rebelution
June 8th – The Wailers
June 15th – The Jesus and the Mary Chain
June 22nd – Jimmy Cliff
June 29th – Michael Franti & Spearhead
July 6th- Iration
July 13th – X

i wanna be softer, fatter, balder, older

i wanna be less interesting, less controversial, more predictable, completely unlickable

i want it to come out like coldplay

i wanna mend your heart like drake

everything i do i want it to be fake.

when we fight i want it to be consistant, predictable, and always end the same way

i want us to embrace the misery.

i wanna have 55 kids all named tom brady

i want several underwater condos, all on the same block

each very far from you

i wanna turn the good into blue

and the blue into baby blue

i hope blogging becomes outlawed and poetry makes a comeback

i hope rick dees and ryan seacrest get stars on hollywood blvd and our taxes are doubled.

all of this i want because im so bored with life

too bad nothing rhymes with life

i want to be harder, funner, quicker, stronger

i want to be more creative, more dynamic, more versatile, more fluid

i want it to come out like hendrix

i want to break yr heart like hank sr

when we kiss it should taste like happiness

i want to have 55 kids all named george foreman

i want a house on the beach and one in LA

and one in NY

and one next door to you.

i want to turn bad things into good

and good things into omg

i want to blog forever even if i have to do it with my nose

or my toes or my elbows or my afro.

all of this i want cuz i cant fix the cubs.

all of this i want because i cant change the world.

all of this i want because rock is dying

and the kids dont care

and passion is being diluted and stifled

and fear is winning

and courage is turning into a four letter word.

i wanna go down fighting and kicking,

and laughing

all the way to the bank.

and then rob it.

it wasnt that good.

people see things other people do and theyre all omg so lucky

but sometimes those people are seeing prince at the troubadour

and like the worlds greatest prince fan barney so wisely noted:

the bigger the room, the more hits prince will play

the smaller the room, the fewer hits prince plays.

troubadour is pretty damn small.

so small prince didnt play any hits.

and charged us $100 for the pleasure.

thus, you might read this very blog and think damn tonys got the life.

and its true that sometimes im seeing prince at the troubadour.

but sometimes im wishing i was anywhere else.