busblog

so im going through old pics to see the blessed life ive had

incase i die.

thanks for this great life, God.

i felt like i was catching a cold or a flu and someone said go take a shvitz

so i did!

and while i was there, bored to death, cuz i was alone, without a phone, nothing to read,

i started praying.

God please bless mom and angie and her kids and amber and the cubs and and and and

soon that was over so i just watched the sweat happen.

and to be honest with you, recently i have had a little challenge to my religious beliefs

but there in the sauna i started thinking about sweating and how incredible it is

almost by magic the body says, whoops, that fool is overheating,

hey water that’s inside the body, lets get some of you to the surface of the body

so it will cool it off.

i mean, how genius is that?

its impossible for me to believe that there was a gaseous explosion somewhere in space

and all of a sudden there were humans WITH SWEAT GLANDS just incase we start overheating.

not only was that created by a higher intelligence, but by a super intelligent being

the engineering of the body is, to me, the biggest tell of a divine creator.

then i took a long long shower, shaved, came back to amber and told her God exists

and she said oh cool.

she was like, wanna?
i was all, you wanna?
i go, but the cats.
she’s like, cousin will crash here.
i’m all, do they have robes there?
uh huh
how much?
free.
no for the whole thing.
free.
i said negativland said free is the most
powerful word
in the world.
she told them it was my birthday
so there was a slice
waiting.

one of my little rules about blogging

is dont blog about blogging.

but it’s hard for me to ignore the fact that here we are on the first day of december and if i keep posting

or lack there of

at this rate, then this will be the least productive year ive ever had on the busblog.

dont you think id be more confident by now? dont you think that because fewer people read this, then i have less to fear about keeping it real?

dont i have more to talk about now that i am no longer working for one of the most prestigious and olden orgs in the world,

and i am infact a major force for one of the newest and free and creative and forgiving?

the truth of the matter is i was never more productive than when i hated my job and knew everyone was watching, including my boss, and even Google itself was pointing at me constantly as way back then i was in the top 5 of “tony”‘s in the world.

i guess the difference then was i didnt care if the world blew up by what i was doing. and today i do.

today im gonna wear a suit because i will be watching one of my film heroes, quentin tarantino, receive an award by a group i used to sit on the board of, and who i still adore, the los angeles press club

and now that i am back working in the press i feel like i sorta belong there.

i hate wearing suits and this one doesnt fit me well as i am pudgy and thats never gonna change but im not punk rock enough to wear a kaftan, so i’ll look like someones uncle, which i am.

and thats ok, it’s his day, and ann-margaret’s and danny trejo’s and the lady who invented the me-too movement.

amber is an interesting girl. ive never much enjoyed going to clubs and dancing or even spending that much time “out” at night if i had a girlfriend because to me, all of those things are to find the woman of yr dreams who would want to laze about the manse watching tv and playing with the cats.

but for this she was all, yes, lets go. so go we shall.

november was productive for me at los angeleno. i wrote eight pieces, seven were published, one will come out in the next few days.

Anyone Can Get a Loaded Grocery Cart for $40 at This Venice Blvd. Market

These Video Tours of L.A. Graveyards Are To Die For

Is Chick-fil-A Closed on the Right Day?

Meet Your Activists: Extinction Rebellion

Just Because You Can Trade a Mike Trout Card for a Tesla Doesn’t Mean You Should

How to Get the Hell out of LAX and Avoid LAX-it

Greta’s Grand Global Warning Strike

expect me to have closer to 10-12 published in december if all goes well.

but of those, the one about the graveyards was my favorite one. that guy is just so well spoken.

ok it’s 4:12am, i’d like to be up at 10:30am to go to church.

how have i even been able to feed myself without a shirt and tie.

drove around south LA yesterday looking for baseball cards at walmarts.

couldnt find anything i was looking for.

first i went east then south, then way south,

then i was in compton and i met this mexican family.

kids were sneezing, but the dad and his oldest son were considering these $79 a box cards

clearly collectors. we started talking and it turned out they had been 20 minutes ahead of me

allll day long.

clearing the shelves everywhere along the way.

what are the odds.

so i followed them home.

and moved in.

tell my cats i love them.

do you know how many things i wanna do

i see a picture like this and i wanna be a photographer

i go to a church and i wanna be a preacher

i go to the horse track and i wanna talk to every person there and tell em im not leaving until you tell me something killer

but lets face it, i probably only have 75 years left on this warranty

and the planet probs only has 50.

which is why ozzy keeps making singles.

amber and i had a fight today and i was yelling in the car.

this man was crossing the street walking his dad and he looked at me.

like he was trying to see if he knew me. maybe he did.

it made me wonder if famous people get that look all the time.

but not from strangers of fans but someone they are in the same circles

and theyre all, wait is that fritz coleman yelling at his bae

i was so angry i wanted to get out of my car and say

take a picture it lasts longer.

but nothing lasts.

huge mistake. sunday nights at the airport are the worst. but she was very sick and we go way back.

it was actually a good learning lesson because if anyone tells you that things are better there, that very well may be, but it’s still a disaster and i do not envy anyone flying into there over the next 5 weeks because this was just a normal sunday night and it was impossible to move during certain parts. and those parts screwed you for 20-30 minutes.

the blessing in disguise is i heard the bears collapse via radio which made it difficult to throw a tv out the window.

beautiful day and night, otherwise.

warm, bright moon. tom waits.

mexicoke.

a lot has been going on. it was a busy week. i hit a lot of dead ends.

i yelled at some people. feelings were hurt. im going to fight a ticket.

fish was made. asparagus. ended up with some korean old lady cookies.

fed the homeless. warm feelings were patched. bowled.

ive been collecting baseball cards like crazy. perhaps in part out of research.

Just Because You Can Trade a Mike Trout Card for a Tesla Doesn’t Mean You Should

work got me a podcast mic. it sounds good. it’s pretty huge. gonna need a stick.

watched some of the impeachment. watched snl. fought on the internet.

been watching my cats’ diets. went to the doc for a check up.

bought dental insurance.

organized baseball cards. got some good deals. went to walmart.

bought and installed a new, soft toilet seat.

i was impressed with myself.

wrote about some climate change activists.

you’ll see it on monday.

found out some things.

ate fish.

paid the maid.

kissed amber

goodnight.

i’d have season tickets. id wake up early for games. id take the train down dere.

id get wasted before the game at some tailgate.

id sit in my seat in the cold and the wind, and i’d be pissed most of the time.

in the summers i would see 40-50 Cubs games.

id have a house, a nice wife, probably a kid.

but id never see them between the work and the sports and the drinking.

i’d probably be dead by now.

it would have been a tasteful funeral.

it would have been from getting in a fight in the stands.

my tombstone would say

he had it coming.

Jesus said repent

but thats such an old school word, people rarely use it any more

but they should

it means to feel or express sincere regret or remorse about one’s wrongdoing

the keyword is sincere.

i have done some fucked up shitty things in my half century on this crust.

i am sincerely uptight about them.

a few of them hurt me to my core.

if i ever saw a shrink, those few would come out in the first few meetings because they are in my head all the time.

and i am so sorry about them. it is so out of my character. it is not me.

i have seen people exhibit the worst parts of their makeup and the good book describes it as being inhabited by demons.

which again is an old school concept but one that i think should be taken seriously.

when one is inhabited, we dont strike out at the person but at the demons. and what are demons? souls that have lost their way. Milton says Satan was someone who couldn’t make a heaven of hell, so has decided to make a hell out of heaven. and tell me that that isn’t whats going on when someone we like or love starts acting a fool or saying some fucked up nonsense.

or worse: doing terrible things.

there was a time i wanted to be a judge but over time i see how complicated life is. not everything is good or bad, right or wrong. imagine someone does a rolling stop at a stop sign, are they truly criminals? were lives really in danger? but the law says sit there for a few beats. those beats are important we have decided. so what should be done to the rolling not-really stoppers?

i say it depends.

i say in most things we should be saying that shit depends on other shit, therefore, lets hear whats going on.

but heres the thing about the Lord. he doesnt need any trial. he doesnt need for you to dress up and comb your hair and pay a sweet talking lawyer to figure out the loopholes into this or that

the Lord can see your heart.

for a while i thought i could see hearts too, but either i was just lucky in the past or that gift has moved on to others.

these days i just assume the best and when bad appears i try to make due.

maybe there are other paths, i honestly don’t know.

we’re through the looking glass people.

we just have to trust in the Big Fella in the sky.

which might be what we shoulda been doing all along.