nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, January 21, 2020

    maybe this year I should try this 

    what if I just told you what I did today.

    ok let’s try.

    Novel idea actually.

    hard to believe this blogs a thousand years old and it’s never been about what j did that day.

    so here goes.

    yesterday I bought a bottle of margarita mix. I don’t really drink much but sometimes we head out of town and we are in a swanky hotel room and there’s a blender.

    anyways I’m a sucker for sales and there was this mix marked down from $11 to $2.75. it pays for itself in one glass.

    amber texted me a few times from her work. Someone needed something that doesn’t exist – except on eBay. And someone else needed a miracle.

    so she texted me and I tried and tried and failed her, twice.

    she got home and we watched rick n morty which she didn’t seem to like much.

    and now I want chocolate

  2. Saturday, January 18, 2020

    What if youve peaked 

    What if you’ve already done the best thing you’ll ever do, write the best you’ve ever written

    Used all your magic the way it was meant to be

    Then why do you still be?

    I dont think that’s how it goes

    I think the Good Lord knows

    I think we are here like energizer batteries until we are done

    If you still here you ain’t done

    So find your bass drum

    And pound

  3. I do this thing on my calendar 

    every day that i am great with amber i circle the date

    If I’m a jerk to her even for a minute, no circle.

    It lets me see how I’m doing.

    So far this month, one circle.

    That was yesterday.

    I didnt correct her, make her feel bad, say things i shouldn’t say.

    Life is a rough game sometimes, especially with a job like hers. Some times its nice to come home and someone is there to just love you.

    Probably in 100 years there will be realistic robots.

    Who would get one and then set the analyze me button to high. All day.

    Today i didnt get a circle. I wasn’t terrible but i did fuck up a few times.

    Also, someone ghosted me on an interview.

    So strange.

  4. we’ve all had bad days, but 

    imagine yr a commercial pilot with a packed plane of people going from

    LA to China and as soon as you take off one of your engines fails.

    and you panic.

    maybe it’s the hollywood hills staring at you from the distance

    maybe it’s the fact that take offs and landings are so easy to do these days

    and boom now what

    so you hit this button and that one

    LAX is a zoo, how are you gonna land this thing there of all places

    and you think, ive got enough fuel to go to China

    that’s a little more than i want on me if i have to crash land this thing.

    so you think i need to get rid of it.

    and theres the ocean over there, and blue skies above

    but instead of the safer route

    you just drop your load of gas upon the citizens of los angeles

    whoopsie, did i do that?

    and it lands on not one not two but three schools.

    dousing a bunch of kids and their underpaid teachers.

    we’ve all had bad days but

    we will never have a day as bad as that.


  5. Thursday, January 16, 2020

    i made this deal with amber 

    i have this problem sometimes when i forget that she is fighting the good fight and i need to turn it down a notch.

    i can be a little over the top.

    so i said, if i can be super chill for the whole day then i will circle the date on the calendar.

    today was the first day ive earned a circle.

    we went to the movies, saw Bombshell, it was ok.

    before that, In N Out. we went to Ashley Furniture who had great financing plans, zero per cent interest, 35% off, all these things.

    but the prices of the furniture was soooo high.

    i met a guy the other day whose uncle makes custom beds. he offered a bed with padding and faux diamonds on the headboard, plus mattress and box spring for $650. old ashley furniture wanted $2k.

    amber took one look at the joint and skeeved out. she didnt even want to play around on it. she was all, this is crazy. so we drove to the top of the parking garage, ate our lunch looking at the glendale mountains, listening to the radio, watching the rain clouds come

    and now it’s nighttime, and the rain is here. it sounds so good.

    i just finished most of my work transcribing my interviews about MLK

    shes watching You

    it’s filmed all around here.

    i have so much work to do in these next few days

    my neighbor threw out her cat playset.

    she got two.

    i rescued it.

    now my cats are so happy.

  6. Tuesday, January 14, 2020

    Palm reader came into my house 

    I was all, excuse me?

    She was like, are you busblog?

    how do you know my name?

    It’s written all over your face.

    But it says Post Malone!

    Where do you write?

    I said what?

    She said where do you write, this apartment is so tiny. I see no desk. I see a bed, piles of garbage, a kitchen table — do you write at the kitchen table?


    Then where? The coffee table? Do you bend over that sad little coffee table?


    So where?

    The bed.

    She didn’t believe me.

    I said read my palm. She said what did you do today. I said i read the newspaper the other day and the writer asked homeless people what they wanted and they said they wanted warm clothes and coats and blankets. So today i had my favorite winter coat. I think my mom bought it for me like 10 years ago at Coats Unlimited. Fuzzy Things N Stuff.

    What was it called? Something so weird.

    Burlington Coat Factory?


    You think that’s weird? She asked, looking through my junk drawers,

    This guy was setting up his sleeping spot. It was 630pm. I knew the coat was in the trunk because i had worn it somewhere and i marveled at how great a coat it was. But i thought i wear this 2x a year. he will wear it every day.

    he was so happy to have it.

    i asked his name, he said, William.

  7. Monday, January 13, 2020

    what if I change everything 

    what if there wasn’t a picture. What if no spaces

    No periods

    No future

    yesterday there was a shooting over by ambers work. either of us coulda been there.

    Beverly Hills.

    imagine that’s where you die.

    get to the pearly gates and they says can’t you read? And they point at a sign that says The Meek FTW

    and you have to explain no no I was just traveling through there. I live in a hovel.

    I like pictures tho. Took a few today.

    Took one of the camera store.

  8. Sunday, January 12, 2020

    the most important class I took in college 

    was not journalism- because it wasn’t offered

    it wasn’t creative writing – even though I loved those classes

    It was Bible as Literature

    in part because the Bible is quoted and misquoted constantly, and only the oddest IG the oddballs really know it.

    So it’s good to know too.

  9. Wednesday, January 8, 2020

    Let’s dance 

    I wrote a piece that got published yesterday but then Trump decided to play war games

    and i didn’t want twitter to be all

    omg WAR
    hey is the Eastside DTLA or Los Feliz?
    shit WAR

    I spent much of today looking for ways to charge my good camera

    I cant find the charger. I know i have it. I may even have two.

    And this is the perfect time to look because the house is clean

    But i dont wanna mess up the house digging through closets and under the bed

    But i think i may have to


    I actually have far more serious ones but nothing in here is true so let’s just believe that alls good in the hood.

    Speaking of, let me also play the Powerball before it’s too late.

    I wanna buy my momma a Malibu beach house.

  10. Monday, January 6, 2020

    do you know when it gets hardest 

    it gets hardest right before you break through

    if it was easier at this part, there would have already been a path

    some other chump would have kicked down the door.

    but it’s there and it’s heavy and it’s solid

    and it’s up to you to figure out how to get through it

    or around it

    or under it

    or over it.

    and in learning that trick, you can make it in the next levels and the next ones.

    right now it’s hard. no doubt. maybe super hard.

    but theres nothing that we cannot get through.

    video games teach us that. every one of them do.

    people say dont let kids play so many video games.

    i say let them play them all.

    but then quiz them about what they learnt.

    and i dont mean “i learned you gotta go left right left up up down.”

    i mean “i learned never give up. watch youtube, watch my friends, keep experimenting, dont be discouraged, take a deep breath. back up and Then run.”

    all of these games are here for our use.

    trust in the force.