busblog

thoughts:

1. so wait, they were Both high class hookers?

2. because he looks like her brother that made her wanna jump in his bed (literally) the first night they meet?

3. that asian man was Mickey Rooney?

4. that was an amazing stunt cat!

5. people really used to dance at parties?

6. liquor delivery? incredible!

7. that sales clerk at Tiffany’s answered every question beautifully

8. if she’s a hooker, what exactly does she spend her money on? her place is barren!

9. in prisons you can just hang out with the bad guys? and bring any guest you want?

10. that cat really felt ok with going back with Audrey right after she abandoned him?

11. these are hookers who steal?

12. this is a romantic movie?

13. how many times are they gonna play that song? a million?

14. no burglars ever use the fire escape to break into apartments… in NEW YORK CITY?

15. why are we supposed to like Audrey Hepburn? cuz she looks good in a hat and weighs zero pounds?

16. whats so special about this guy other than his hair?

17. everyone wore suits back in the day, no matter where they went or what they were doing. so glad i didnt live back then.

18. WHERE THE BROTHERS AT?

19. wow, her apartment had super high ceilings.

20. they seriously let little girls watch this?

lol

last night my mom chris jeanine and i went to kanpai and had a great time.

it was actually super fun and it was real nice to share with everyone all the good things

like melt in your mouth sushi fish

magically delicious vegetables

and a lobster roll where the lobster tells you exactly what to do to get the most out of it

everyone was happy because jeanine is recovering so well and shes so alive and so great again

we were also in the glow of the oscars which i was so lucky to share with chris and ma

on our drive through LA we saw big houses and talked and talked and talked

it  was so nice.

then i had to drop of chris and we cried inside cuz we still have a magic bond

and shes still so beautiful and sweet

and im still a tshirt wearing dope.

then me and mom had an hour to kill so we went up and down the beach and then it was time for her to fly back to the snow

so she did

and i drove home and ordered a pizza and passed out cuz i was tired.

im so lucky to have so many special people in my life and they got to hang for a little together.

now, back to work

mom wasnt thrilled that it was raining on her as she and the truest and i walked one city block from the hotel to the red carpet, and i dont blame her.

glamour and luxury and fairytales are interwoven in the myths and pretty tales we hear about when talking about hollywood’s biggest night,

but one of the things ive tried to point out in the busblog is for every dash of beauty and magic that you find in LA, theres just as much dirt and weirdness and excrement.

and sometimes it really does rain on you on your way to the carpet.

heavy, sidewise, cold rain not in the morning when no one was here, not at night when everyone was inside, but right at the worst possible time.

JK Simmons won the Oscar later that night, but he won Most Prepared, if you ask me because he had the biggest blackest hat I saw and his head never felt a touch of the wet stuff.

when we were finally on the carpet everything changed. there was protective plastic above us and stars alllll around us. the fans in the bleachers were loud and cheered mightilly for future Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne and fan favorite Michael Keaton.

mom got to see how short Kevin Hart really is, and Chris, rightfully advised us to walk a little slower and soak it all in.

highlights:

my mom said hi to Jennifer Hudson right before we got on the red carpet and told her she looked beautiful: the Oscar winner smiled and said thank you right back.

The night before the big show my mom was at the bar and complimented John Legend’s wife, Sports Illustrated cover model, Christie Tiegan by saying “your makeup is so good!” mom didn’t recognize her at all and said, “do you do other people’s makeup too? can you do ours tomorrow?”

just because i could get them into the Oscars didn’t mean i could score the best seats. they were way up in the rafters and mom asked if i should have gotten her binoculars. i panicked because she was right. i wondered how well theyd be able to see. but after the show she told me not only could she see perfectly but there were four tv screens above her all showing different camera angles.

one of the moments she loved the most, as did the world, was the performance of “Glory” by John Legend and Common. she said that from her seats she could see the singers marching towards the bridge and then across it in a better way than was broadcast on TV. she also said the sound was fantastic in the theater.

she loved Lady Gaga.

she didnt eat or drink during the show because she didnt want to have to get up to go to the bathroom.

chris, however, sampled many glasses of the complimentary champagne, just like i had a few years back.

afterwards the ladies went down to the hotel bar to party with the stars and guests of the stars who had also chosen to stay at the Loews while i continued to work, but this time at the Governors Ball.

i took some pictures for our Instagram account but was quickly told by my boss to relax and enjoy the good music of Will.I.Am, Sergio Mendes, and Solange Knowles, like Beyonce and Jay-Z were doing mere feet away. Heres a photo gallery of Getty Images on PopSugar from the Govs Ball.

got done around 1:30am, 15 hour day? mostly in a tux?

drove past this guy on the way home and was extremely grateful to have spent some of the day with two of my favorite ladies

and was happy that they seemed to have had a good time.

now in the morning, thanks to murphys law, the sun is shining bright, as theres not a cloud in the sky.

awesome.

it was a little crazy picking them up at the airport today because you never wanna leave the Oscars

BECAUSE HOW WILL IT GO ON WITHOUT ME RUNNING AROUND IT ALL DAY?

but i did, and it survived and chris and i even ate sushi as we waited for my mom to arrive

and now we are in the midst of things in Hollywood Blvd

soon we will be eating the kittens and petting thai food

i mean eating Thai food and petting Kittens!

ok, exhausted, must run

sorta busy, not that i dont love you.

i do.

you know i do.

i swear it.

didnt really care very much about any of the people

and especially not the little kid who got slapped.

and then he got slapped i was supposed to feel something?

the recipe in telling a story is super dooper easy:

introduce likable characters,

screw them over royally,

see if they can overcome it.

if they can, great, if they cant

better.

the problem with the first episode is who cares about the overachieving yuppie guy

or his brother with the awkward crush on the babysitter?

the other problem is the bratty kid who got slapped is fake:

he is always mean to everyone all the time

unless he is being breastfed by his mom even though he’s like 8.

the whole thing is in this alternate universe that we’re supposed to understand and relate to but sorry, these are tv figments

they will go live in their own unwatched universe and something will happen that i will never know about and thats ok with me.

fuckers even went so far as to pretend there are still

actual, physical airline tickets any more.

as if.

we had just witnessed the first portion of the red carpet get laid out on hollywood blvd.

it had been unseasonably warm all week but the little chill was returning

but only at night

which it was becoming.

through the day we had to do some fun, and weird assignments

“had to” is the wrong phrase, “get to” is better.

for some reason i enjoyed it all. had a great day.

im older than everyone in the world.

security guard guy said, when you were 22 did you think youd be doing this?

but he said it like sarcastically, like what we were doing was lame.

i thought working for the biggest tv show in the world?

the most prestigious arts company ever.

coolest award you could ever get.

and i was all, no, when i was 22 i thought at this age

id be selling out wearing a suit

driving a station wagon.

stay thirsty, my friends

will be on new years eve
at staples center, in downtown LA.

this is facebook’s fatal flaw, and the thing that will make them totally fail

and why i divested my stocks from them:

they dont care what you like. they care if what you like paid for an ad.

facebook knows more about me than anything ever created. it knows i like to see things at staples, it knows i love the crue, it knows i buy lots of concert tickets,

so then why didnt it, with its multi gazillion dollar algorithm alert me that crue tickets were going on sale

and once they sold out, why didnt they tell me that there were lots of tickets on stubhub?

because facebook doesnt care about being a useful tool in my life

it cares about being a commercial entity constantly looking for ways of monetizing the things i like and because the concert sold out so quickly it assumed there were no more avenues in which to sell to me, but alas it was so wrong.

and at its heart it has failed itself and me as a customer.

just tell me things, facebook, the money will come.

i know it’s hard to put that into a powerpoint deck but sorry, it’s true.

when you play games by throttling information you miss out on opportunities.

just show me the things that i want to see and i will be more loyal to your site and omg i probably will stay there longer, and the longer i stay the more chances you have to making me buy something and hopefully it will be something that i actually want.

and yes, i would like to see motley crue’s last show ever. in LA, at Staples

on new years eve.