nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, February 5, 2016

    Sly Stallone: “Never let anyone see you frown. Ever.” 


    You know why? Because you can’t read a smile, but you can definitely read a frown, and people do not want to see other people who are young, handsome, beautiful, talented, and making good money acting like they’ve got gigantic problems. Frowning. I mean, you want problems? Go out there into the world; there’s billions of problems. So I’d probably tell myself: never, ever, ever publicly feel sorry about yourself, talk about your terrible upbringing, mope, frown, or complain. I don’t want to hear about it. Start to get involved in other people’s lives. Be supportive of them. Be charitable. That’s the first thing. Serving other people, that’s not only the right thing to do for the world, but it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. I really believe that.

    from the Bio interview

  2. only 5 days on the market and the Cubs’ spring training cap is basically sold out 

    cubs spring training cap

    unless you wear a size 6 7/8, you’re outta luck if you want a Cubs official spring training cap

    the cubs appear to be the favorites to win the world series

    and are probably faves to dominate through most of this century

    after graciously giving much of the last one to the yankees, dodgers and cardinals

    but this one is ours and everyone knows it so when this cute little number hit the digital shelves

    they flew off like hotcakes (but why would you do that to a hotcake?)

    foolishly i thought the league woulda made tons of these, so i’ve gotta find one somewhere

    maybe my mom can hunt me down one back home in illinois

    your boy wears a 7 1/8.

  3. Thursday, February 4, 2016

    well i procrastinated again last night 

    rolling stone kanyei didn’t reinvent the wheel AGAIN as i planned to.

    i have this weird love hate thing with making super great things. i get nervous. lightning will strike, i assume.

    sometimes it does.

    when i was in college i would tune in to the radio station of inspiration and LO great stuff would flow right into me.

    it wasnt me. it was something Else. something better. something smarter. something cooler. something with a better way with words than 20 yr old tony.

    and it frightened me like if one was working the Ouiji board and it started spelling out words youd never heard of so you write it down and then you realize the message is being told in french and backwards.

    and you think: i barely know French, let alone backwards french.

    so i laid off tuning in that channel for a while. but the problem is sometimes you wanna hear what that stations playing because it IS beautiful music after all. but it’s hard to find it. its like not where its always supposed to be. and it takes longer to get there, but when youre there omg youre there alright. but then before you know it it’s over. so hopefully youve gathered all the manna you can because it aint probably gonna be there tomorrow.

    so thats i think what the problem is about writing this thing down. i know its great. i know its a win win for all parties. its just whats really gonna happen when it happens. so not only is the creation an energy sucking spiritual emotional journey but then youve gotta deal with the aftermath.

    the whole thing makes me not wanna do it. but the weirdness is i dont think anyones gonna do it unless i do it. and if someone did it theyd make a crappy version of it. and mine will be coming from a place of love and theres will be from a place of greed. how do i know this? because everything else theyve made has come from greed which is why theyre not even thinking about this petrified forest of love.

    i gotta think like kanye: just produce, just create, put on some funny pants, and create more. dont think so much.

  4. dear tony, what if this is it 


    I love your blog. I haven’t been a reader for long, but I always get a chuckle out of your advice. I try to be religious but I have my doubts sometimes (a lot of times). How do you stay so positive? What if there is no afterlife? What then? – Concerned

    Gentle spirit,

    I suppose there could very well be no afterlife, no champagne party on the other side of the Pearly Gates, no conga line being led by Hendrix and Cobain and Marilyn Monroe.

    I suppose it could be that when we die we become worm food and that’s it.

    To me, spirituality is something you feel in your gut, your heart, the part of you that’s not your mind. But you asked online so let me answer you online.

    When I think about things like the human body, how our lungs take oxygen and mix it with our blood and turn the whole thing into energy and life and how our blood circulates and how the antibodies in our systems work and how our skin heals and how our liver filters impurities. And yes, I think about our stomachs and intestines and how they turn that apple i ate and eventually poop it out, I think these bodies we have are the most amazing creations all by themselves – not to mention our brains which can remember things and create things and solve problems. Nor do I mention Love and all of the things that surround that unique concept.

    When I put it all together I find it extremely hard to think that we are given the miracle of life to only live on this baffling crust for a blink of an eye, relatively, and then thats it.

    I think theres something more. I don’t think we are sand castles on the beach that only last a few hours and then go back to the sea. I do think there are all star pants off dance offs after we die with all of your favorite people in history with truly endless shrimp.

    And most importantly, bread that doesn’t make you fat.

    In the meantime I think it is our duty to rock as hard as we can down here so we have something interesting to tell our heroes when we finally meet them in the buffet line, but yes I do think we will get to meet them and i think there will be something interesting to do after that.

    And I think it probably involves guitars

    played loudly.

  5. Wednesday, February 3, 2016

    anti handwashing republican with alleged KKK ties part of GOP blockage 

    thom and grassley

    Sen. Thom Tillis, (R-NC) – seen here with the blue tie with Sen. Charles Grassley, (R-Iowa) –  is one of the GOP lawmakers who have seemingly agreed to stop any Obama nominated judge from being confirmed until the president is out of office.

    A year ago today Tillis, who was then a Freshman senator, was exposed as someone who thought it might be a good idea to let restaurants “opt out” of the requirement that its employees wash their hands after using the restroom.

    “I don’t have any problem with Starbucks if they choose to opt out of this policy as long as the post a sign that says ‘We don’t require our employees to wash their hands after leaving the restrooms.’ The market will take care of that,” Tillis said. There’s even video of him saying it clearly on C-SPAN.

    “That’s probably one where every business that did that would go out of business,” he added. “But I think it’s good to illustrate the point that that’s the sort of mentality that we need to have to reduce the regulatory burden on this country.”

    handwashingThat’s correct, the senator thinks that the law requiring one to washing ones hands after taking a dump is a burden.

    Just a few months ago the hacktivist group Anonymous claimed the Republican from Huntersville is involved with the KKK. Tillis was among a list of political figures that the group claimed had ties with the hate group.

    While the allegation has yet to be proven, Tillis is in favor of strict North Carolina voter ID laws that have been proven to keep minorities from voting. Tillis argues that such voting laws curb “widespread” voting fraud, but the enemy of many Republicans, science, has shown that of 1 billion votes cast since 2000 just 31 cases have been proven to be fraudulent.

    Regardless, Tillis is one of the GOP lawmakers who voted against the confirmation of Wilhelmina Wright, an African-American judge who was successfully confirmed as an Associate Justice of the Minnesota Supreme Court; which many in the GOP says will be one of the last of the Obama-appointed judges to be confirmed this year.

    “There is a point at which, traditionally, no additional judicial nominees are considered until the election,” Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn (R-TX), said referring to the election in November.

    In 2015, the Republican-controlled Senate confirmed a mere 173 total civilian nominees, according to the Congressional Research Service, about 100 fewer than were confirmed in 2007 when a Democratic Senate took over during the last two years of George W. Bush’s presidency.

  6. Tuesday, February 2, 2016

    ten years ago today i was told i was gonna be flown to holland 

    just a girli know nothing in here is true and most of the times thats the case, but this is a true story and ten years later even i cant believe it

    but this blog used to be popular. so popular it had Blog Ads on the sides of it that helped pay my rent. and the nice man who invented Blog Ads, one Henry Copeland, worked out a deal with the Dutch Government who wanted to advertise on a bunch of blogs

    Henry said hey why dont you stoke some of these bloggers by flying them out to Amsterdam for a week, give them bikes to ride around, give them museum passes and rooms in a five star hotel.

    because the Dutch are wonderful they said oui! which is Dutch for sure Hank whatever you say bro.

    so they picked like a dozen bloggers, people like Perez Hilton, Dooce, Pink Is The New Blog, and little old busblog!

    they said we didnt have to write about the trip on our blogs but you know your boy was gonna, in fact if i got lucky i was gonna finally meet JustAGirl, the black dutch girl, who had a fantastic blog at the time. and i was gonna meet the not as sexy Bicycle Mark. and because i was the community manager of Buzznet at the time, i was gonna throw a Buzznet party and hope someone would pinch me because how was any of that real?

    turned out JustAGirl (pictured) was like 10x hotter than i expected and she thought i was pretty tres bien herself. i said do you have a boyfriend? she said im sorry i dont speak english. i said your eyes are saying all they need to. she said maybe you should show me your five star accommodations. i said hubba hubba which is dutch for wait lets try some of that stuff thats legal in amsterdam

    and this dude in a wheelchair i kid you not said did someone say legal? this stuff right here is technically legal but it shouldnt be. i said i’ll have some please! he rolled it up and when i wasnt looking he sprinkled in some poison.

    which is english for tobacco!

    and i huffed and i puffed and within minutes i was puking in the canal right across the street from the ann frank house as the moon and the stars twinkled in the vincent van sky. and i thought no way is that chocolate brown dutch girl gonna wanna kiss me now. and she said american boy go brush your teeth and pointed to a drug store.

    which is dutch for hurry up fool.

    and in the morning it wasnt a dream. in the morning she rode the train to the airport with me and said i’ll be in canada next summer. meet me there. and i said i will i will i will.

    and thats only part of the story that started 10 years ago just because of this lil blog.

  7. i am procrastinating something super big 

    kim and amberthe question is why?

    most of me knows this would be a fantastic thing. most of me knows this would help people including myself and people i like. a real win-win.

    and its so weird. all i have to do is write it down.


    ive been writing since i was in the womb! (sorry ma)

    and i did start writing it a few weeks ago but now i dont even wanna read what i wrote back then. all ive gotta do is go back to it, edit it, improve on it and send it off.

    the person i need to send it to likes me (i think) and respects me (i think) and would probably say oh hell yes (i think). and thats the way you should write people. make believe they cant wait to read what youre about to say.

    but what if im wrong? what if its a bad idea. what if it would hurt the reputation of this person? what if it makes me look like a doo doo head. BUT I AM A DOO DOO HEAD! i am a doo doo head with a great idea. (the best kind of doo doo head.)

    tonight i should really do this, but tonight i wanna see a screening of Creed. i also want to Uber because i havent Ubered successfully in a while. last night i drove around and made zero dollars. my jack in the box budget is more than zero dollars. so the plan is to uber for a few hours after work and then see this Oscar nominated film.

    but then when will i have time to write this groundbreaking email? tomorrow?

    fine, tomorrow.


  8. Monday, February 1, 2016

    did you know they’re teaching the busblog in college textbooks? 

    frequent blogger

    hell yeah they are.

    my practice of “blogging” was noted by some dude who has written a bunch of text books about “The Social World” and a few people were kind enough to let me know, the most effective being this lovely woman from Jersey who let me know today that im the posterboy of “overgeneralization” in Mr. Schutt’s mind because of this post from 2005.

    bro probably overlooked the fact that this blog clearly states on top of every page that “nothing in here is true”, but whatevs

    and also, MOST people i do run across hate going to jury duty. f the Harris poll! if the Harris poll was right, why is everyone – sorry MOST PEOPLE – so relieved when they dont have to go to jury duty?

    also i think my comment and his question to the students are different. i think MOST PEOPLE would be thrilled with jury duty if they could show up and get right to the trial. but no, you gotta sit in that waiting room, you gotta wait all day, then maybe you get picked, then they ask you questions, then maybe you get picked for a case, then you gotta go home, then come back the next day, then wait some more, then you get to the case MAYBE

    its the process thats the nightmare, not the actual hanging the bad guy.

    either way the busblog is getting love from college kids EVERYWHERE and thats cool with me bro.

  9. Sunday, January 31, 2016

    january 2016 in review 

    legs in bathcar broke

    computer broke

    made good money on new years eve

    brunched with ali and aj

    watched hella Making a Murderer

    watched even more Fargo

    had sex with a pretty girl

    el nino came in the beginning and end of jan and tons of stuff ended up in the river

    but there were rainbows

    started a thing where i watch a classic movie every week. classic meaning olde. it started with imitation of life, then it was love in the afternoon, then it was belle de jour, and tonight it was city lights

    drove around the assistant for Rae Sremmurd which was probs the ride of the month

    got excited that Guns n Roses will be at Coachella

    sampled the new mozzarella sticks at mcdonalds for you

    bowie died and it hit everyone pretty hard

    had to be at work at 4am one day, a photo essay

    quoted matthew 7:5 on the internet in an unusual example of thug life

    wore a hat on national hat day

    realized that taylor swift is going to do a surprise set at coachella this april, probs weekend one and i wont be there

    solved global warming, sorry cubs

    tried to write this thing but instead watched a couple of docs including The Wolfpack which was amazing like omg

    she asked why do you have two tvs in your bedroom

    a judge said dov cant run american apparel no more which means there wont be american apparel no more

    got very upset with my former love

    went to the lakers game with chris and dave and totally told the usher lady in the good seats, no it’s good

    saw the martian and then the revenant and at first i thought the rev would win all the oscars, now im not sure

    some of the differences between when i did college newspapering and how they do it now

    got two tickets for springsteen doing all of the river but theyre in the very back row up in the sky