busblog

heres the hard thing about blogging: keeping it real. 

we live in polite society.

we also live among humans and humans love gossip. 

so on your blog you can either have no friends no job no life and 100% keep it real on your amazing blog and be perez hilton – and noone wants that

or you can say nothing in heres true but still withhold like 99% of your life

or you can somehow tip toe around everything and attempt to make general stories that could apply to anyone. but seriously how many of us are the Brothers Grimm? 

so when your blog cms changes and you cannot revert back safely, you feel as though you were already floating in space, but now you have been detached from the space ship. 

its just you and your suit against the world. and you may stop breathing soon.

which is exactly what they want you to think.

maybe the key is writing first and then seeing what happens then adding the photo after, which is the opposite of how blogging should be but whatever.

it was raining pretty bad this morning. so bad it was wonderful. i was able to get some work done and i was considering ordering postmates even though you cant get that too often.

however, what a better time than if its raining?

but then i got a text message from the young lady who was all its raining i was all yeah and she was like come get me

only reason i did was cuz it’s the fourth day of hanukkah and everyone knew it was supposed to rain

so i figured no one would be on the roads and luck be a lady, the roads were clear.

picked her up. went to Pho 2000, ran a few errands and we were in bed by 5:30pm watching game of thrones. by 6:30pm she was alseep and i was back to work.

this is the incredible star studded life all of us in hollywood are living.

theres a new wordpress im writing this on and its so terrible i may go back in time to a different version because mama mia. 

anyways today amber and i got soup.

the end.

During the 6th Soviet Antarctic Expedition at Novolazarevskaya Station, the only doctor in the house suddenly became the patient

when Dr. Leonid Rogozov realized his appendix was going to burst unless he did the unthinkable: OPERATE ON HIMSELF

The date: on April 30, 1961

His assistant: a mechanic.

Length of operation: Two hours.

How he did it: He positioned himself so that he could see his own body using a mirror when doing the surgery. But as he notes, that meant he was seeing things on the wrong side.

He made a 12 cm incision through which he found the appendix.

He published a short note about this in the Soviet Antarctic Expedition Information Bulletin, no. 37, pp. 42-44, 1962.

I did not sleep at all last night. It hurts like the devil! A snowstorm whipping through my soul, wailing like a hundred jackals. Still no obvious symptoms that perforation is imminent, but an oppressive feeling of foreboding hangs over me … This is it … I have to think through the only possible way out: to operate on myself … It’s almost impossible … but I can’t just fold my arms and give up.

I worked without gloves. It was hard to see. The mirror helps, but it also hinders — after all, it’s showing things backwards. I work mainly by touch. The bleeding is quite heavy, but I take my time — I try to work surely. Opening the peritoneum, I injured the blind gut and had to sew it up. Suddenly it flashed through my mind: there are more injuries here and I didn’t notice them … I grow weaker and weaker, my head starts to spin. Every 4-5 minutes I rest for 20-25 seconds. Finally, here it is, the cursed appendage! With horror I notice the dark stain at its base. That means just a day longer and it would have burst and …

At the worst moment of removing the appendix I flagged: my heart seized up and noticeably slowed; my hands felt like rubber. Well, I thought, it’s going to end badly. And all that was left was removing the appendix … And then I realised that, basically, I was already saved.

Two weeks later, he was back on duty.

she works every day but monday and tuesdays

and those days im usually on the phone or writing

even sundays i have to work which im sure doesnt please the Lord so i try to do that work after midnight which makes Monday a groggy day

but at least i have work. which is a blessing. even though unemployment is very low one should always be grateful of work. i say that as someone who has found himself in dark places economically, as many of us has

and ive also found my self once upon a time, with his cup running over. it’s a strange dynamic because when youre broke you think it will last forever and when you’re doing good you foolishly also think that this is how it will be until you die

and then you die.

yesterday amber and i took a walk on a quest for food. and halfway through she nearly passed out from low blood sugar and when she got a fix from some coffee she was a totally different person.

is the xbi behind this? are they switching robot babes on me who are running out of battery life? what evil lurks inside Starbucks’ that this one goes in like a dying bluetooth signal and comes out all raring to go? it wouldnt be so shocking but the quick change happens in minutes.

we ended up at Thai Patio, the former home of Palms Thai and she loved it. all i could see were its past glories. over there is where Thai Elvis once sang, on those walls where decorations once hung now theres nothing. the tables that you used to have to wait outside to sit in are now empty. true we were there at 4:20 in between lunch and dinner rushes, but still. the food was good although the soup seemed a bit watered down.

the best was a butch lesbian woman with a crew cut and a xxl tshirt and baggy jeans accompanied by her very femme, thicc, african american date wearing a long red dress. they moved from a window seat to one in a darker corner. two instagram influencers sat near them. how do i know who they were? they told the lesbian couple who introduced themselves.

near us was a table of four Metro bus drivers devouring their meals.

we should have come earlier for the $6 lunch specials.

etienne was right, im bossy

emma was right, her dad should kill me

the favourite was fine, but

theres always a but

heres my big problem with so many movies:

if you have action, you can’t have romance

if you have powerful women,

theres no room for powerful men.

star wars is great because everyone is great

except for the star troopers

so they made them look fantastic.

the favourite looks fine, is fine, is better than most

but is that what we should be shooting for? B-plusses?

when you have such fine performances, costumes, framework

would it kill you to go that extra mile?

i have spoken. exeunt.

what if i dont have the magic inside of me any more

what if everything before this was luck like they said

what if they were all being nice in the past and i have no talent

what if my isla vista sex drugs rock intro was really just a set up to a downward spiral into misery heartache poverty and tragedy

what if the caged bird doesnt actually sing for thee, but instead is tolling a bell yearning to be set free?

what if my buckets got a hole in it

these are the thoughts that go a mile a second into the head of a writer as he simply tries to do his work, and im sure it happens to musicians and artists and ballet dancers and tuba repairmen

but i heard the best thing the other day. who said it. who said it?

whoever it was said you can have these thoughts come to you, but you have to let them all slide through. don’t give them a home in your head.

dont let them live there rent-free. move them along, little doggies. move along.

have them, hear them, note what theyre saying,

but then bring out the broom and sweep them out, make room for the new thoughts, the weirder ones, the crazier ones

the thoughts that bring about peace and love, peace and love

oh yes, it was Ringo who said it!

for the last year i havent spent a lot of time with them, but now on this project im home a lot more

and at night she sends me off to the living room before she’s about to fall asleep

so i am out here on the couch with my music and huge tv

and these two are so happy because i pet them and scratch them and

constantly push them away from me.

it’s a weird little dance.

and because they are competitive, one waits for the other to fall asleep

and then crawls over to my lap like nbd

they are very lovable animals who have slowly started to get fat.

and even though it goes against my best nature, because i dont know how to stop feeding them

i bought an automatic feeder thing for them.

it’s their christmas gift.

i hope they dont hate me forever for it.

reminding us that this jug of milk

has an expiration date.