nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, September 18, 2001

    this site has gotten over 111,000 hits over the last week 

    Thanks. You get hits when people tell their friends to check you out, and I thank you for that.

    When you get hits, you get letters and everyone has given me nice letters and this one was an interesting one, and since I’m brushing up on my Farsi so that I can help the cause, I figured today would be a good day to show you a letter that I got about my pages about Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson preaching that lesbians and others were to blame for the terrorist acts, and my response.

    To: heytony@hotmail.com

    Subject: Re: your site

    Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2001 18:16:07 +0000 (GMT)


    just wanted to let you know that Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell are in

    NO WAY representative of Christianity as a whole. Both of them are

    intolerant reactionary assholes and true Christians scoff at their

    deplorable attitudes towards just about everything. Of course they have a

    small following, but so did Ross Perot, and who the hell takes *that* guy


    Feel free to disregard all of their bullshit. 99% of the Christians I know do just that.

    Gentle Reader,

    I agree with you wholeheartedly, except for the fact that they have a “small” following. Those two guys are two of the biggest Christian ministers of all time. They own a broadcasting network that spreads around the world.

    Their political strength in this country is so mighty that they can say things like what I put on my page and they are not denounced by big-time Republicans or even other Christians.

    I, too, am a Christian minister and I am outraged that they are allowed to spew such hateful non-Christian vitriol unchecked.

    But the main reason that I have it on the front page on my page is to point out that we have some influencial religous zealots in America who preach more about politics and power than they do about spiritual matters from the Bible. And although it might not be as dangerous as others who would hijack planes on suicide missions because their religious leader instructed them to, it is nevertheless dangerous and needs to be outed.

    I truly thank you for your letter.

    Your in Christ,

    Tony Pierce

  2. Monday, September 17, 2001

    i know this is a bummer of a time 

    and we’re supposed to be all patriotic, but i think that part of being American is the right to express one’s opinion. and i was born in Washington D.C. and so was my sister and so was my father and his father. so this is my opinoin of the day: somebody needs to shut up our president, George W. Bush. he’s a fucking idiot and that little sneer that he has is pathetic. i know he’s trying to be a tough guy, but he’s a fucking moron.

    if you saw the Vice President on Meet The Press yesterday, it was a clinic. In between dry hacks of death, Dick released quick little blasts of subtle brilliance. I turned to my weekend companion and said, “why isn’t this guy our President, again?” and she said, “cuz he’s about one wrong heartbeat from heaven.” I have a much greater apreciation for Mr. Cheeney, who knows so much about how our government works, and is smart enough to answer questions and tell stories in a way that is informative without giving away any secrets or making it look like anyone fed him the information – or that he’s a buffoon figurehead lucky to even be on t.v.

    And I agree with the amazing Doug Morris that instead of repeating the elementary idea of “evil-doers”, this is the speech the leader of the free world should have given. (kudos, shelia)

    if you want a nice flag for your emails or your web page, go here.

  3. Friday, September 14, 2001

    over sixteen thousand hits to my page yesterday. 

    when people linked to it they said things like, try not to cry. the intention was to make you all a little happier, so maybe they were happy tears.

    today the network is letting us go home at two so we can observe the national day of mourning. absolutely no disrespect intended, but didnt we mourn on tuesday wednesday and thursday?

    i went to sleep early last night cuz i had a pretty bad headache. i have a very hard time accepting the victim role. i would like to stay at work until 5, thank you. in honor of the slain. and trust me, if anything tragic ever happens to me, please don’t mourn more than about 20 minutes. if you’re going to dwell, help out the poor or the sick or the starving or the ignorant. i know your hearts are full of love and strength. let’s reflect that. vh-1 had a special on grunge last night. that music is perfect for these black days, which is weird because as much as i love nirvana, it had always been very hard for me to listen to them for even a short period of time since that tragedy, but last night it sounded so damn good.

    My subscription to the L.A. Times ended today. Thank you, Lord. Thank you!

  4. Thursday, September 13, 2001

    Casual Thursday 

    for Bitter Businessman Guy. I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know that he sported a smart golf shirt tucked into khaki’s this morning as he fumed that the train was a few minutes tardy.

    Almost 7,000 hits yesterday. And not one of them got to get linked to this dude’s spectacular pictures and story from the streets of NYC – thanks to Greg for letting us know.

    Even though I understand that the NFL doesnt want to fly to the games, or play, or put their fans in possible danger, I’m bummed that there wont be football this Sunday. I really enjoyed it last week.

    Today my company arranged for the Ben & Jerry’s truck to serve us all ice cream. They had Cherry Garcia, and the one that i chose, Chocolate Fudge Brownie. One of our freelance cameramen, Thomas Pecorelli, died in one of the planes the other day. He was 31. His wife is three months pregnant. Disneyland is opening back up today.

  5. Wednesday, September 12, 2001

    after a full day dwelling, 

    i seriously doubt that i will be writing any more about what every tv station is talking about. i hope that doesnt disappoint you, so in other news, the bus was not even crowded today and one of my favorite people was there, Bitter Businessman Guy.

    This guy is white (a rarity on my bus), dressed in a shirt/tie/slacks/hard shoes (another rarity), has short hair and a cheesy moustache, and appears to be a sales professional or a middle manager. Whatever he is, he always looks PISSED.

    whenever he is around I always hope that something breaks or the bus is late cuz i would fucking love to see him blow his stack.

    the L.A. Times has 6 sections, of course all he read was section A, about the tragedy. you could see the skin beneath the stubble on the back of his neck grow red. I was loving it.

    For anyone who is concerned, I emailed Genevieve Field of Nerve.com yesterday to see if she was ok, she emailed me right back from her penthouse office in NYC. (Little did I know about the cool website “I’m Okay”). And you know I don’t B.S. you about things like this, and I don’t, but how on earth do I not visit her site more often? Not enough titties for me? And beautifully photographed. What on Earth is wrong with me?

    Also, major shout-outs to Ben who busted with one of the best headlines in a column that you really should read “Hollings to copyright violators: ‘I’m gonna git you SSSuCAs’

    Finally, what have I done to deserve praise such as what Dangerous Monkey has heaped my way? But, thank you, it’s really nice. But don’t stop what you’re doing, you’ve turned me on to a bunch of cool sites that I would not have otherwise known about. Plus you’ve turned others onto me. So everything is sweet and lovely. Although I’m pissed that the Blink-182 show was postponed for tonight at the Long Beach Arena. I had floor access tickets and I’ve never seen them play.

    And really, finally, why the fuck did Champion break-up? I liked them. Especially when they weren’t covering Sgt. Pepper.

  6. Tuesday, September 11, 2001


    the cheap shot
    heard around the world

    woke up this morning to my mom calling me saying, no lie, “stay away from any FBI buildings.”

    here in Hollywood it is very eerie. i work at an entertainment network, not the FBI. there are televisions everwhere in this office. all of them are tuned to different stations. i have one on my desk right next to the computer that i write you and my boss is telling me that im tuned to the wrong station, that I should be on CNN where they are showing an Afghani press conference.

    I click onto all my favorite sites to see what the kids are saying, and, unfortunately a lot of them are in school — or being evacuated from school. Fortunately 5ilver has an unbelievable link to her NYC pal who run’s Bertie’s Blog, who has some good photos from the scene.

  7. Monday, September 10, 2001

    This weekend provided for lots of excitement in the Cam Girl world 

    Some time Saturday, Lynn, the designer and writer of CheapThrill.org was exposed to be not who she said she was. Apparently not the perky little blonde from Alabama, Lynn was a little more than that – a lot more, actually.

    I knew that Lynn was full of it about a month ago, when she sent me a picture of a faceless young girl lifting her shirt. “That’s me!” she claimed, and when I called BS she blocked me from chatting with her. So, even though I thought – and still think – that her site is one of the most creative and well-designed pages out there, with excellent writing – I took her off my links page, cuz who knows what else is a lie? Does she really do her own work? Are her words hers? Is she really a she?

    The truth came out this weekend when Internet Gossip exposed the 17-year-old senior of a private highschool in Mobile, as being more of a size 12 than a size 2.

    Big whoop you say? People shouldn’t be suprised that people aren’t who they appear to be on the Internet? True. But that sad thing for me is that here on the web people can really be judged by their words and their work, and still some people feel like they have to hide behind some false persona in order to be loved and accepted.

    When I worked at the FBI, we’d find that people were full of shit all the damn time. Really tore us up inside.

    But the really sad ending of this story is that instead of just owning up to her lie, like she does on Internet Gossip – Lynn decided to upload an R-rated home video of her “best friend”, Melanie in a very private moment, and then repeatedly denounce her and insult her on her page. For reasons unexplained, Lynn has chosen to blame her friend for the expose, instead of DiePig, who runs the Internet Gossip site that originally announced the truth.

    Lynn, was one of the founding contributors to Internet Gossip, and one would imagine that if she had a beef with anyone it would be with DiePig, and not Melanie, who said nothing on her own site about the matter until Lynn blew up at her.

    Somehow I expected more from one of the leaders of the teen camgirl scene.

    “It’s just so highschool,” said 18-year-old Lilly.


  8. Everyone needs to pray for Sheila 

    She has terrible gas, which if we were pervs would be cute, but it’s really quite painful. It may be from the “milk” that she drank, she reports. Sonny drank some milk over at my casa this weekend and had gas, and then i drank some milk at my casa this weekend and had gas. So maybe the cows that they’re pumping full of steroids had gas last week and that is causing all of this, but anyway pray for Shelia because she rules. And her site is one of the best in the galaxy. Even if she’s only in junior college.

  9. at exactly 8:49:52 am 

    “mcgraw-hill.com” visited my Links page after reading about Ashley.

    Best thing about being a foul-mouthed American writer with a million ideas that i aint even rocked yet? Sucka McG’s have a very difficult time ripping my shit off. Keep trolling, fellas. Hope you liked the column, but i don’t think they made it over there.

  10. Friday, September 7, 2001

    fuck drudge 

    who knows less about music than he does about television or politics. fuck drudge for being the least talented and unfunniest fuck who ever tried to gank a style from a better age – a time when Blacks were more fucked than ever, and when television didn’t have cable, and when the Internet was a secret that the Good Lord had yet to pull from his sleeve. also a time when no paper in the free world would have allowed such a hack like drudge to do more than scream extra extra on its filthy corners.

    there is an art to being a negative creep and practice all he wants, he’s a failure. like a crack baby taking its first steps, drudge falls on his face each and every time. i have yet to see him even come up with one original lead and it pains me that the kids look up to him, but like their love for Mickey Mouse and dirt pies, they’ll grow out of this passing fad soon enough, i’m sure. just watch.

    among all the good things that went down last night on mtv, so many that N*Sync apologized each time they won, basically, was a killer rock group named Mudvane, dressed in white tuxedoes and bullet holes in the center of their foreheads. they won the MTV2 award – consistant with the fresh approach to the fledgling new channel.

    but drudge is not a man, he’s a hole where you can rat-out your boss and he’ll post it and call it journalism. he’ll post it, that is, as long as it’s juicy, and as long as it aligns with his predictable and petty politics. if he’s gonna steal styles, why can’t he copy real writers like Cobain, Hemingway, or Plath? and i dont mean mimic how they wrote.