1. Monday, December 3, 2001

    life is never the way you think it’ll be 

    Ashley Tony airport2 maybe for you it is, but not for me.

    ashley has an 18 yr old ex boyfriend named rocko who drove his old pickup from vegas to LA a few days ago to see the Incubus show. he brought along his buddy Wilbur. they were supposed to meet this girl who got them into the vegas show infront of the Universal Ampitheatre’s main gate. They had no money. They didnt have a cell phone number for her. So, of course, she didnt show up. And their drive across the desert was a waste.

    meanwhile, completely unrelated, last night Ashley got stuck at Burbank Airport. Her plane to Vegas had started in Reno, but it got snowed-in in Reno before it had a chance to pick her up at Bubank and it was the last plane to Vegas. also completely unrelated, Rocko and Wilbur are driving back to Vegas today and Ashley hates flying and considers the cancellation/snow-in a Sign from Above not to fly, so she called Rocko’s cell phone and asked him if he would, when he leaves Redondo Beach today, pick her up at my Hollywood mansion.

    He said no. He said, that he doesnt know LA well enough, that he knows the freeway to take him to Vegas and if she wants to ride with him for me to take her to Redondo Beach this morning and drop her off.

    all this happened last night. while i was trying to sleep.

    when you start seeing a sweet teenaged girl you dont see these situations appearing. you dont see anything. you forget that when you’re in highschool all the fights are ridiculous, that people really dont know what battles to sign up for and what battles to forget. you certainly dont think that if you had the chance to call in sick to work cuz theres a long haired blonde girl wrapped up in your sheets begging for you to stay, that you wouldnt.

    begging i tell you.

    like i said, life is never what you think it’ll be. that’s why i keep buying those lottery tickets.

    rocko, you’re a punk and i hope your peice of shit car breaks down in the middle of nowhere and the crows peck out your eyes after the desertfolk steal your shoes.

    *** news flash ***

    this just in: Rocko has decided to take Ashley home after all. Yay for all things that end happily. may your car motor at safe speeds happily to your home. amen. and thus ends today’s soap opera drama. tune in next time when tony’s phone rings at three thirty in the morning to sobs and nose-blowings.

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