1. Sunday, February 24, 2002

    had some drinks with some hot chicks 

    after work on friday and they had lots of questions for me.

    turns out they read this page, but not my main page and they kept asking things and i kept having to say nothing in here is true and theyd laugh and then say, “bullshit, tony. thats so bullshit.”

    i am the luckiest man alive. im starting to learn that now. and i wanna use that for good, not for selfish things. but im starting to feel old. chris and i were trying to go to the home town buffet in burbank but the line was nearly around the building at 5pm on Saturday and i wanted to use my superpowers there to cut into line. i took some pictures of the people and then one of my self and i looked at the pictures and i saw that there was a gray hair coming in over my ear. this wasnt the first time i found one.

    theres so much i wish could tell you, but more hot chicks than the happy hour girls read this thing and no one is satisfied by how theyre portrayed here, including myself. in no way is ashley as ridiculous as she might come across. and theres no way i could be an agent for an underground undercover vigilante group of misfits and castoffs who fight crime and pocket the contraband. in all actuality ashley is a full-scholarshipped med student at Irvine and im a left handed korean pitching phenom for the cubs with such a devistating screwball that it appears in some photographs that i am actually throwing underhanded.

    underhanded, indeed.

    im tongue tied and heart-tied and clumsy and pathetic about certain things that these lies disguised as fiction couldnt fool a child, which is why i have gravitated so easilly to the screwball, the most unnatural and deadly of all of baseball’s pitches.

    and here it is the month of pisces and its a nutty month where one unemployed fortune teller told me on a grayhound many years ago is the month where the lord and the devil fight their biggest battles over souls and situations. this is their month long superbowl and you can try to baton the hatches or take a vacation, but theres nowhere to run thats touched by the sun, theres no place to look but away.

    the curveball works because if a right handed pitcher throws it to a right handed batter, it looks like it’s going to hit you in the head and then it slides over the plate. but its slow in comparison to the fastball, and it spins and the batter can see it spinning and can adjust.

    the screwball curves the otherway: in on a righty, and works like a lefthanded curveball to a lefty.

    trust me, but this is invaluaeble to a pitcher with a mediocre fastball like most. critics call this a junkball, but for those who master it, it’s everything.

    it will, however, ruin your elbow. most screwball pitchers dont last even half the time as regular pitchers, and regular pitchers last on average only 4-5 years.

    how many gray haired pitchers do you remember?

    after they let the Blacks, and the Mexicians, and the Japanese and now, the Koreans, like me, do our thing.

    today is sunday, the day of rest, set aside to remain holy and here i am talking about baseball.

    but only cuz i want to talk about you.

    and cant.

    and never do convincingly, anyway.