1. Monday, March 11, 2002

    weird thing about lies 

    is that the truth is so crazier. and my truths are crazier than most but last night i saw that 9/11 documentary by those two french dudes and i was pretty rivited, i must say.

    there’s very little that will take me out of my computer closet, the sanctuary where i write this blog each morning. six months ago i was in that closet when i saw the second tower go down. to have a film crew not only in the tower that day but recording the movements of the fire department closest to the towers was mighty unbelieveable.

    for so long we’ve been focusing on those two buildings and the firemen and new york and new yorkers, but to see them Right There was fascinating. it made me leave my closet and sit on my couch.

    i didnt want to see it. i was taping it for Chris who didnt want to be bummed out on such a nice Spring evening.

    i kept wanting to retreat to my computer but i couldnt, i kept thinking, how did these guys get out? how did they survive?

    and of course i had thought about the Jumpers. how couldnt you? utter desperation and panic, and so many times i tired to rationalize them by thinking that they wanted to take control of their lives up until the last moment. but seeing how much noise they made and how powerful their bodies were slamming on cars and trucks and other people — they seemed like bombs or meteors. they prevented the people trying to escape the building from certain exists. so im now convinced not to jump.

    but ultimately, the fact that every single firefighter from that station came back alive was a total miracle. and i love miracles. theres a lot of tragedy in this story but many miracles.

    the 9/11 story that they showed on tv wasnt something that was really comfortable to watch the entire way through, but this morning im really gald that i saw.

    and im glad i taped it.

    and im glad i have this web site.

    sometimes im sad that i dont use this page to really document what really happens to me in my life. but i respect people’s privacy, especially my good friends who’s secrets would be revealed if i told the truth. anyway, at about 2am on 9/11 before i went to sleep, i read a little article that said that Michael Jordan was going to come back to the NBA, so right before i fell asleep i wrote the truth about a part of my day, the day of 9/10. when i woke up and saw what was happening in nyc, i took the jordan page down. it just didnt seem right to have up there that day.

    it seems pretty amazing, to me, at least, to see now.

    i hope you feel the same way.

    major shout outs to JC who flowed me today, the 14th day in the row! and to my pal Noah who got me and my chauffer drunk as hell after the Gorillaz show Saturday night.