1. Thursday, April 4, 2002

    easiest and carefree ways to illegally cross the border 

    has closed. the little known ride-the-bike-thru-the-bike-lane-slowly scam has bit the filthy tijiuana dirt, the border patrol announced citing, of all things, safety concerns based from the september 11 terrorist attacks. but who are they kidding?

    instead of spending thousands of dollars in cramped sometimes dangerous means of transportation, up to 2,000 people a day have been coming to america via pedal power equipped with nothing more than a smile and perhaps a nice jogging suit so as to not raise suspicion.

    unlike automobiles and trucks and motorcycles which were subject to an actual stop at the border, a series of questions to answer, and a brief (or lengthy) search, cyclists wishing to use the bike lane merely had to ride at a mellow and chilled pace, with, at best, a quick stop to flash a driver’s licence – especially on the days that the press is taking pictures.

    adios sweet bike lane, and damn you, purveyors of evil, watch how the ripples of your actions continue to dash the dreams of the innocent and unaware.

    if it weren’t for my new nightly ritual of klos and jim ladd’s familiar record collection of lennon, morrison, floyd, jagger, ozzy and jimi, it would have slipped my mind that i was paid a mighty compliment by a man who does an enormous amount of blogging, reading the web, and watching baseball. He has a nice link to Layne, so why have I never heard of thefatguy.com?

    Speaking of the man who left me his apartment, who knew that our Ken is still Google’s #1 Ken after nearly a month? How did I miss that post?

    Me, I’m #26 with a bullet. The Tony Awards is #1, show offs. And then some guys like Tony Hawk, Tony Bennet, Tony Roma, and my favorite, Tony Stone graphics, which I hardly go to because when i do i just want to steal and steal and steal.

    Normally I wouldn’t aspire to even make the top ten with that sort of competition, but the number two tony is a guy in a band that ive never heard of, Tony Levin. How is Tony Levin number two behind the Tony’s and ahead of Tony Hawk, Tony Roma, and me?

    meanwhile matt welch is about to leapfrog matt haughey, the inventor of metafilter, which i have grown to love, and stands proud at a very respectable #7, on the same page, and if you ask me, in striking distance of a man who rarely even gets called matt, whom you wont ever see linked here because i dont link bathroom walls.