1. Wednesday, April 10, 2002

    people write me a lot of letters. 

    i dont know why because i have no solutions. but some of the stories are pretty funny sometimes, however some are sort of sad. the more i read the letters the more i think that either im living a life that no one else has ever lived, or maybe i am just misunderstanding everyone in the world.

    this one girl writes me nearly every day and she has sent me some nice pictures of herself and if they really are pictures of her, i dont understand why her relationships always end up so bad, but she is very nervous about whoever she will end up with next. and i didnt tell her this next story because i didnt think shed believe it, but it’s true.

    not too long ago i got a phone call from a girl who wanted to … well, it was a booty call.

    as you know i have no automobile and this girl lives in malibu.

    she was whispering all the right things into the phone and she was going through the list of ways that i could get a ride out there and she said what about sonny, could sonny drive you out there? and i said no. then she mentioned this ex-girlfriend of mine and i said, no. are you crazy? and then she mentioned this other ex-girlfriend of mine, she said, hang out with her for a little while and then borrow her car and tell her you’ll be back in an hour and a half. i said, that girl never lets anyone borrow her car.

    then my call waiting clicked and it was one of the ex’s and i told her the ridiculous request being made and the ex said, theres a great store across the street from pepperdine that ive been wanting to go to, sure i’ll take you.

    and people, she picked me up, dropped me off, went shopping and an hour later picked me up and then allowed me to take her to a nice greek dinner.

    when i shared this story with my other ex, she was not only not surprised, but she said, “but we all know that she is the greatest chick in the world.”

    and then she said, we should we only be dating people who would make great ex’s, and i asked, are you doing that? and she said, nah.

    sad news, though, the malibu store was packed and the good samaratin did not get whatever it was that she was shopping for, but the dinner was spectacular, although a wee bit overpriced, even for colony prices.