1. Tuesday, May 21, 2002

    anna said, why are you trying to make troubles 

    i said, aaaah. i aint trying to make no troubles.

    she said, all this bs about women writers being crazy.

    i said, take it easy. first nothing in here is true.

    she said, thats the biggest lie around.

    i said, second i didnt even say it, whalen said it. and i dont even know if he believed it when he said it.

    she said, well you should stop saying it.

    i said, i didnt even say it!

    she said, cuz then people will think that you think it’s true.

    i said, i do think its true, but i never said it.

    she said, i dont need you anyway, the lady that they said was me just got several million dollars from penthouse and i’ll get mine soon and i didnt even have to pose, and i would appreciate it if you took down that weirdo photo essay that you have of me.

    i said, i’d appreciate it if you won a tournament.

    she said, id appreciate it if you just shut your big fat mouth.

    i said, i know.

    she said, what are you doing tonight?

    i said, anna, my life is so bizarre, i could be doing a bunch, i could be doing nothing, i really dont have the foggiest. i could walk down the street and meet christina aguelera or i could–

    she said, thats not how you spell her name.

    i said, i know.

    she said, i thought she was on your list.

    i said, what list?

    she said, everyone has a list of people who they’d do.

    i said, do?

    she said, yeah, my list is harrison ford, adam sandler, mel gibson, brad pitt, and john cusack.

    i said, john cusak?

    she said, yeah. now who’s on yours?

    i said, i dont even

    she said, come on its just fun.

    i said, ok, you, mariah, madonna, christina aguelera, drew barrymore, and this chick who lives down the street.

    she said, thats six you can only have five.

    i said, ok, cross your name off the list.

    she said, you prick.