1. Tuesday, May 7, 2002

    today is traci lords’s birthday 

    and i ask you, what are you going to do to celebrate it?

    traci, as we know, is famous for not only being a superstar adult actress but for being the most famous underage porn star. she has since done what most have failed to do and that is to cross over to “mainstreamfilms, notably John Waters’s “Cry-baby,” and the original “Blade.”

    Traci also had a short, but successful recording career, and she even appeared on television as Rikki on “Melrose Place,” and on “Roseanne.”

    Born Nora Louise Kuzma, today Traci turns 34.

    and still i ask you what will you do to celebrate it?

    will you just go through another day getting older and more conservative and safe and dull and predictable, or will you take life by the horns like a wild teenager pissed off and reckless; clueless, yet focused; innocent and wise, naughty and nice; actually, not so nice.

    or will you just come home from your day and watch more tv.

    when i look back at some of the birthdays that i have celebrated i can remember in great detail the large chunks of waste where i sat around waiting for something or hoping for something or wondering about things, or just being. there wasnt much actual living. just a pace being set and some awkardly unfortunate followthrough, like a pebble that had been kicked down a shit hill and it might think its going somewhere but its just a slave to the motion. theres no movement. theres no energy. theres not even a spark.

    consider this your spark. it’s traci lords day.

    and if things dont go so well, dont worry, there will be plenty more days to just go through the motions and be safe. i swear.