1. Thursday, June 20, 2002

    ashley is the most jealous girl ive ever met 

    theres an ashley on your porchi find it endearing, in a way, most of the time.

    the same way that i hope all my friends and loved ones find it endearing how messy my home is, how crappy my clothes are, how ridiculuous it is that i have no automobile, and how my memory is as reliable as a cell phone in the canyons.

    but im crazy about ashley and that shouldnt be a surprise to anyone. everyone loves the daisy princess.

    she pouts and cries and yells and is always there to tell me what parts of my blog and web site are incorrect. how i have ignored her Once Again, even after the poll overwhelmingly said that they wanted more, not less, of her on these pages.

    she lets me know what a mistake im making with the girls i dont even dare write about on here.

    she lets me know how much she misses me and thinks of me and tells me the things we’d do if id only rent a car and pick her up and wisk her away.

    she is a naughty angel trapped in the body of a teenager struggling to escape into a world of barefoot walks through dandilion fields that culminate into wild romps that make the doves scatter and the sunbeams blush.

    shes a whirlwind of affection caught in a rainstorm of apathy called downtown irvine.

    shes as single as can be and only has eyes for me.

    until recently.

    for the longest time ive been telling ashley that she needs to date guys her own age.

    of course they wont be as talented and skilled and practiced and witty and marvelous and honest and romantic and amazing and humble or be able to shapeshift and juggle and ballroom dance, and cook, and rollerblade like me.

    but you’ll make due, i told her.

    then the other day i was reading her online diary and within days of my little pep talk i discovered that she made out with not one, but two, available young orange county suitors!

    so here’s to you, ashley newingham, princess of the 949, sow your wild oats in the parking lot of wild oats… but be safe because thats good shit over there.

    and in a few years it will be i who will be the jealous one.

    40. hosemonster