1. Monday, June 3, 2002

    calling all nexites 

    my name is tony. i am applying for a writing gig after many years out of college. i could use your help.

    i am without any reasonable clip whatsoever, and my bound editions are MIA.

    if, by chance, you would even have one article with my name on it that you think would be worthy to show a prospective employer could you please send it to me? i will make a copy of it and send it back to you.

    your loviness will be returned upon you sevenfold.

    just so that you know that i dont have a big head and thats why i think i could score this gig, here’s three girls fifteen years old who already kick my ass.

    nay

    emily

    leah

    lucky for me im cuter.

    this chick’s sixteen. he’s seventeen. she’s eighteen. she’s nineteen.

    im tony

    someone sent me these two links and asked me if i believed after looking at the sites if i still believed that a plane crashed into the pentagon.

    and my answer is, thank you for the links, i would much rather think that my dirty government was lying to me than think that a handful of yahoos could knock out a chunk of the pentagon while knocking down the twin towers.

    but what would be the motive for the government to blow up one of their own buildings and look like a bunch of girls with their skirts down around their ankles?

    maybe planes are made of materials strong enough to carry lots of weight, and light enough to fly, but crappy enough to explode into bits when crashing into a thick ass building at high speeds.

    but what the hell do i know, i voted for nader.

    but i do know three gay guys trying to make friends with four straight guys in the rain at comiskey park. and ladies, when we say that we dont want to work out or shave or shave our chests or shave our heads or get tanner cuz it’ll make us look gay, that is what we’re talking about. thanks fellas.

    and by the way, dont say that the reason to turn all pretty is cuz the girls will fall all over you. its not true. what is true is that all those dudes are getting laid. and the real winner is the one who can do all that while being true to himself.

    however, nobody cool hangs out with gay guys in the rain, topless

    at comiskey park.