1. Tuesday, June 4, 2002

    i guess i have my share of readers, 

    i might have your share too.

    so when one of my favorite readers gets all worked up about his cousin scoring a gooooooooooooooooooooooal in the silliest sport in sports, i figure what the hell, lets throw bro a bone.

    im american, through and through.

    that means i couldnt give two shits about soccer and i couldnt even give one shit about the world cup.

    it’s nice to see people get all excited about their favorite sport, and its nice to see nationalistic pride, which is good for all the puny little places that arent the usa.

    but i thought we covered that with the miss universe pageant? no?

    anyhow, i like the riots, and the face paintings, and the big flags and the fights in the stands, and how everyone watches tv together and sings songs and drinks beer and stumbles home drunk with paint smeared down their sweaty cheeks with chants still echoing down the alleyways.

    but fuck the world cup.

    learn how to play baseball if you wanna impress me.

    or football, or even basketball.

    everyone wants to take on the world champs, and thats who WE are so dont go running around thinking youve done something cuz you beat Brazil or Camaroon.

    i mean, come on. lets get serious.

    take your little balls and your nets and your flags… and learn how to play baseball, an acutal sport.

    most of you know how to play it, so play it. play it with the objective that you want to compete with America in an arena that no one has proven that they can defeat us in.

    you cheat when you play us at Little League, thats cool.

    in fact its a good start.

    anyway, this might be the last world cup post you see here. and now you know why.

    but if i do find myself waking up from a drunken stupor and i hear a mob of freaks screaming at the tv, i will root for korea because of my man Noah.