1. Friday, June 14, 2002

    kitty bukkake’s already pouting, 

    and i expect such things in life.

    it’s tough having favorites, and i am not afraid to tell people where they stand.

    but her complaint was the spark to a brilliant idea that i just had.

    i was a terrific editor in college, ask anyone. i think i was a far better editor than writer. even though i was unfairly fired and then banned from the paper that gave birth to a lot fo the great writers and editors that you read and love, i learned a lot there.

    and my list, kitty, was simply a representation to the hard-nose super high commitment to excellence that i learned under the shadow of that mighty tower in santa barbara.

    there’s many reasons why i came up with those ladies as who i’d pick to fill seven spots if i was guest editor of FoxNews.com, and one reason that I did not pick Kitty is because she holds back on her readers.

    it’s true.

    i mean, her pen name is Kitty Bukkake, for pete sake, and how much blushingly erotic sexiness do you read on her page?

    not much, is right.

    now, i dont know ms. kb all that well, but i know her enough to be able to honestly say that she has some stories to tell — as we all do, im sure — and i know shes in a committed relationship with an excellent midwestern man who deserves his private life to remain just that, but come on dear girl there is a geyser of stories inside that thin frame busting to come out and i have not seen but a glimpse of it on your “diary” and before i would be confident to release you upon the good people of FoxNews.com, i would have to see that you could tell a sexy tale on your own page.

    but i realize that some of you arent into that, so i have devised a master plan that im sure you will all love to participate in.

    my blog is about to self destruct, and before that happens, i would like to host some stories of people that i know and love.

    i would LOVE to have some guest columnists on here.

    screw FoxNews.com

    and of course i feel bad for writing things like what my good pal jeff said about how the only good women writers were either crazy or crazy.

    so this is what i would like to do: all the ladies who know me or who dont know me, if you would like to see your column posted on this very page, i would love to have it.

    all you have to do is send it in to my home email address: guestbabecolumnist@tonypierce.com, and you can either post using your real name and i will include a link to your site,(if you have the courage), or you can post using a pen name (if you want to write something, let’s say, risquee) and i wont link your site.

    either way my illiterate readers will be educated into the sweet world of your world via this blog.

    what could be finer?

    the invite is open to women who want to write something that they wouldnt dare write on their site, for women who want to write to my very diverse readership, and/or to women who want to write something who don’t have a blog to write on.

    i can guarantee you a good sized audience and the opportunity to receive sweet praise.

    and maybe if this is a smashing success, i will let the fellas have a chance,

    but since i was raised right, ladies first.