1. Tuesday, July 2, 2002

    Byung-Hyun Kim! 

    who’s this?

    it’s Tony Pierce!

    yeah, who you?

    busblog, tonypierce.com, dork of the world, leader of the losers, puke on the street, the oldest man in showbusiness, the 108 year old virgin.

    is that why you talk about girls so much?

    * sniff *

    what do you want from me tonypiercebusblog?

    i want to ask you how you feel about making the All Star team, some people say you don’t deserve to be there after you gave up two home runs in the World Series last year and how you’ve just blown two saves last week.

    i have 20 saves bitch, how many you got?

    easy tiger, i thought you japanese dudes were all polite and sweet.

    im korean mothafuckyou, korean!

    yeah, like Ichiro and Nomo, they’re really nice to me.

    they’re japanese, im korean. my name is Kim. Korean! world cup! oh, forget it.

    ok, you play for the defending world champion Arizona Diamondbacks, wheres the best place to get Korean food in Phoenix?

    no korean food in phoenix.

    theres got to be a Panda Express at the mall at least.

    i can’t wait to meet you, mr. busblog, so i can slap you.

    do you like American food?

    yes, i love America and American food. my favorite is Taco Bell. i’ve traveled all around the world, ive never had anything like Taco Bell.

    how did you learn how to pitch underhanded? isnt that illegal?

    it isnt underhand, it’s side armed. i learned from watching Kent Tekulve on tv. the pirates in the ’80s. the we are family pirates with willie stargell.

    is Randy Johnson the ugliest naked man in the locker room?

    why you so crazy? screw loose. why you think youre funny?

    answer the question.

    no. Gonzo is the ugliest. he’s not really white, he’s not really brown, he sorta gray. pimples too. in the wrong places.

    what was the last record you bought?

    i dont buy, i download. i got the new Eminem cd, it’s ok.

    you like rap?

    hippa-hoppa, i like the hippa hoppa. its not rap.

    riddle me this, my brotha, can you handle it?

    Your style to my style you can’t hold a candle to it.

    naked babe symmetry and the balance is right.

    huffin’ and puffin’ on a tuesday night.

    it’s not how you save the game, it’s how you blow it

    I cheat and steal and sin and you know it.

    For those about to rock we salute you

    The dirty thoughts for dirty minds we contribute to

    I once was lost but now i’m found

    The music washes over and you’re one with the sound

    Who shall inherit the earth?

    the meek shall!

    and yo, I think i’m starting to peak now, byung-hyun

    that was tight, g.

    only the best for you, all-star.

    are we done here?

    one more: matt mantei throws the ball 100 mph, he’s back now from arm surgery, are you worried about losing your job?

    people dont come back from tommy john surgery and hit 100 mph, my job is mine to lose.

    right on, bk.

    later, dog