1. Wednesday, July 3, 2002

    hi Bernie Brewer! 

    oh, so now you know my name.

    of course i know your name, i grew up in the midwest.

    well, i just thought you didnt know since you called me “the happy Brewer Guy…”

    yeah, yeah, yeah, dont be so sensitive, it was just a comedic device. so what’s up?

    i have some answers to your questions.

    what questions are those, bro?

    the Hypothalamus, most scientists believe that the mind is located in the hypothalamus.

    well thats all fine and good, my milwaukee mascot friend, but what the hell do scientists know?

    they know plenty.

    then why dont they cure the common cold.

    you mean the flu? cuz its a virus.

    we cure computer viruses all the time.

    its not the same.

    sure it is.

    im not going to argue this with you, you dont even know the first thing about science.

    sure i do, i know youre an ass.

    come over here and say that.

    next time im in milwaukee bored out of my mind i will, bernie brewer, i will climb that ladder and kick your big fat mascot ass.

    ok, tony, seriously, what is up you butt?

    this girl. we write to each other every day. last weekend we went on a date. we hardly ever go on dates.

    uh huh, go on.

    i gave her a kiss goodnight, which i do sometimes. but this one was different.

    i see, and now she doesnt know how to act.

    thats it. people shouldnt *act*. they should just be cool.

    quick question, tony, and be honest.

    ok, you know i always am.

    who called the shots between you and her? her, i bet.

    mmmm, it was pretty mutual.

    ok, let me ask you this, whats the furthest you ever got?

    i dont know, second base.

    ok, tony, what happened with that kiss is the balance of power was shifted. there was a disturbance in the Force. there probably was always a disturbance in the Force if she was calling the shots, but something clicked inside her and shes uncomfortable and shes probably just adjusting, sorting things out.

    but it was just a kiss!

    ok, defensive boy, chill out. you, as great as you are, are not the best person to be around when someone is trying to figure things out.

    but theres nothing to figure out!

    see, you always have an opinoin. let her be a girl, which is a good thing sometimes, give her her space, and find something else to do this weekend. is anything going on?

    yeah, my friends are having barbeques and ashley is coming over.

    ashley, what are you still doing with her?

    it’s just for today, tomorrow night im taking her home.

    ok, good. shes cute as hell, but come on, old man.

    i know, i know.

    ok, and quit acting like a little bitch. when you want your space you appreciate it when people back off.

    ok, Bernie Brewer.

    by the way, did you see what Meesh wrote about you?

    pretty cool, huh?

    yeah, and what’s up with this?

    i dont know, it’s french, and you have to go to page 12 and look at the graphic in the middle.

    why do the french love you so?

    they only love me because they love Emmanuelle so much.

    so why arent they all over Welch?

    because he’s the blond american who stole her away.

    see, tony, your mind isnt all gone.

    i guess youre right Bernie Brewer, well, will we see you at the All Star game too?

    you bet your ass.

    ok, later then.

    hasta. oh wait, one more thing.

    what’s that?

    maybe she’s bummed cuz youre a bad kisser

    what!

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