1. Wednesday, July 3, 2002

    Miller Park! 

    dude, you’re seriously losing your mind.

    it was never mine to lose.

    say what?

    well who is possessing the mind?

    you.

    yeah, but who is “me,” my body?

    yeah.

    my arm?

    no, your head.

    my ears?

    no, your brain.

    so my brain has lost the mind? where did it go?

    i don’t know, tony pierce, all i know is it’s not where its supposed to be.

    is the all star game supposed to be in a stadium owned by the commisioner of baseball?

    i wish you would stop saying that.

    of course you do, you’re the king’s castle.

    i beg your pardon!

    you’re in milwaukee, hardly the center of american economic growth, and you charge people $75 a ticket for box seats.

    now that’s not fair, most of the tickets dont cost $75.

    youre right, most of the seats cost between $20 and $30 bucks.

    correct.

    TO SEE THE BREWERS!

    the team is in a rebuilding period.

    then dont charge people of wisconsin $75! dude, they’re the worst team in baseball, they’re a joke. the only reason they have two all stars is because Bud Selig and all the other owners have agreed that its a good idea to have more than one Brewer represented in the home park.

    remember what i told you about you losing your mind?

    you’ll never be as cool as chicago.

    oh, god.

    hell, you’ll never be as good as Madison.

    hey, now.

    even the Packers dont even play in Milwaukee.

    they play a few games here.

    yeah but they dont really want to, or have to.

    so?

    so, nothing.

    what is your deal, tony, shit.

    nothing.

    here, have a beer.

    thanks miller park.

    youre welcome tony pierce.

    i did have a fun time at prom in Lake Geneva.

    see.

    but we drank Stroh’s and Old Style.

    it’s ok.

    thanks for being there Miller Park.

    i’ll always be here, tony. that is, until they tear me down and put in a replacement.

    they wont do that for a while, im sure.

    yeah.

    hey why did they get rid of the happy Brewer Guy who slid down the slide into the big beer stein after each home run?

    he slides down onto a platform now and balloons are released.

    yeah, why did they make it all lame?

    i dont know. political correctness or some shit.

    in Wisconsin? it’s during a baseball game at a park named after a local beer maker.

    i know, i know, people do funny things sometimes. not ha-ha funny, just funny.

    i guess.

    they still have the sausage races though.

    that’s good, at least.

    hey, want another beer?

    yes, please.

    87. Jim Spot

    88. Greeblie

    89. Off Wing

    90. Jay L. Zilber