people want to know whats up with me and serena

casual readers may not know that my website predates the busblog.

i have been updating my website since the summer of 2000 when i was unceremoniously fired from the dot com that i worked at, only to be ceremoniously rehired 4 hours later due to popular demand. it’s true that a week or two later i celebrated the williams sisters win at wimbledon which was the first time serena (pictured, right) made it on this server, but a week before all that i put up my first story, an AP reprint, about a girl named Anna. color me loyal.

now today was a pretty good day, financially, i made $187 from selling a pair of $65 chris isaac tickets thanks to eBay. the profits i put in the thermometer. at almost the same time my man steve w. from canada was flowing the busblog $51! which is the largest single donation to date and deserves a round of applause. merci steve! that brings our total to $625, and i know we only have a few days left in the month, but im starting to think we can reach this bizarre goal.

but then, im a cub fan. i dont do much thinkin.

it was also a good day because my buds matt and ken double teamed me with two powerful links to my lil thing about Instapundit.

and then i got bukkaked with the Oish love. and no offense to my bros, but there arent any better hits than 18 yr old southern cal cam girl hits cuz tick tock they dont stop — plus Oish (pictured, below) linked me to every single one of her new pics! nice scamola if you can get it.

around 7pm chris called me. she was bored in santa monica and wanted to take me to the movies. she picked me up, we went over to the ridiculously overpriced Arclight Theatres because theyre still showing every movie that came out this summer, theyre terribly convienent, everyone there is SOOOOO nice (order a popcorn and the guy says, “so what movie are you guys here to see tonight? Bourne Identity, yeah, that one is great.”), free parking, and because tickets are $14 each the theatres are basically empty.

our ushers came out before the previews to introduce themselves, then we were very nicely entertained by Matt Damon and Famke from Run Lola Run in Bourne Identity. dude who directed Go directed this one and it was really great.

took a leak in the new bathrooms of the Archlight and saw that some kid had tagged the stall and stuck an Obey sticker on the handle of the john. love the kids.

then chris took me food shopping at the most ghetto Foods 4 Less ever and she nearly started crying in the fresh food section when she saw how low the prices are in hollywood compared to her plush wesssssside Pavillions. crazy thing is, they’re both owned by Vons, so the same apple tree produced her $1 apple as my fifty cent apple.

whatever.

chris is the best ex. we held hands in the movie. she pushed my cart at the store. even paid for a bunch of stuff. have i told you shes lost 20 pounds? looks better than ever, which, i know, sounds impossible, but its snot. sometimes i forget that she even lives just an hour away i get so caught up in the menusha of my daily life. i have to remember not to overlook her, cuz shes the best.

in honor of the Instaman’s birthday, heres a few more links for your ass:

raymi shows us a webpage of a happy couple that are so happy that it reminds me why im not looking to hard for my soulmate.

jenny went to the leeds festival in london and, oh, saw GnR, weezer, foo fighters, strokes, slipknot, white stripes, prodigy, death cab, and dozens more.

mr. know it all sends us over to joe rogan’s site where he met up with a great big fat nude elvis singing, dancing and peeing at Goldfingers last month. i need to get out more.

and lastly, send your true love some Pee Mail, they’ll either think it’s truly adorable and love you, you twisted fuck, or they’ll just scoff and say, “see? see!”

Nelly

Nellyville

Fo’ Reel Records

8 weeks on the chart, currently #1, triple platinum

“Hot In Herre”

Hot in…..

So hot in heerre…..

So hot in…..

Oh

Wan’ a lil bit of uh uh and a lil bit of.

(Wan’ a lil bit of uh uh just a lil bit of.

Wan’ a lil bit of uh uh just a lil bit of.)

(Uh) I was like, good gracious ass is bodacious

Oh, flirtacious, tryin to show patience

I’m waitin’ for the right time to shoot my steez (you know)

Waitin’ for the right time to flash them keys

Then um I’m leavin, please believin (oh)

Me and the rest of my heathens

Check it, got it locked at the top of the four seasons

Penthouse, roof top, birds I feedin

No deceivin, nothin up my sleeve and, no teasin

I need you to get up up on the dance floor

Give that man what he askin for (oh)

Cuz I feel like bustin loose and I feel like touchin you (uh uh)

And can’t nobody stop the juice so baby tell me whats the use

(I said)

Its gettin hot in here (so hot)

So take off all your clothes (unh)

I am gettin so hot, I wanna take my clothes off

(repeat)

Why you at the bar if you ain’t poppin the bottles (come on)

What good is all the fame if you aint fuckin the models

I see you drivin, sportscar, aint hittin the throttle

And I be down, and do a hundred, top down and goggles

Get off the freeway, exit 106 and parked it

Ash tray, flip gate, time to spark it

Gucci collar for dollar, got out and walked it

I spit game cuz baby I cant talk it

Warm, sweatin its hot up in this joint

VOKAL tanktop, on at this point

Your with a winner so baby you cant lose

I got secrets cant leave Cancun

So take it off like you’re home alone

You know dance in front your mirror while your on the phone

Checkin your reflection and tellin your best friend,

like “girl I think my butt gett’n’ big” (oh)

(Repeat Hook 2x)

(Let it hang all out)

Mix a little bit a ah, ah

With a little bit a ah, ah

(Let it just fall out)

Give a little bit a ah, ah

With a little bit a ah, ah

(Let it hang all out)

With a little bit a ah, ah

And a sprinkle a that ah, ah

(Let it just fall out)

I like it when ya ah, ah

Girl, Baby make it ah, ah

Stop pacin, time wastin

I gotta friend with a pole in the basement (What?)

I’m just kiddin like Jason (Oh)

Unless you gonna do it

Extra, extra eh, spread the news (check it)

Nelly took a trip from the Loop to the Neptunes

Came back with somethin thicker than fittin in sasoons

Say she got a thing about cuttin in restrooms

(Hook 4x)

(Let it hang all out)

Mix a little bit of ah, ah

With a little bit of ah, ah

(Let it just fall out)

Give a little bit of ah, ah

With a little bit of ah, ah

(Let it hang all out)

With a little bit of ah, ah

And a sprinkle of that ah, ah

(Let it just fall out)

I like it when ya ah, ah

Girl, Baby make it ah, ah

Oh

today is the king of the bloggers’s birthday

Glenn Reynolds, the Instapundit.

More people visit his site daily than have voted in the last three presidential elections, combined.

Glenn gets more hits than sadaharu oh, hourly.

and if he links you back, his magnifying glass/sun combo literally might blow your servers. no lie.

The magical anarchy of the Internet has chosen this demi-god not because of his youthful good looks (which are far too youthful and good), or his chosen profession (law professor, Tennessee), or his hobbies (underground music), or his ability to read and write about everything on the blogosphere and boil it down to one or two paragraphs spanning a hugely diverse array of topics.

No, it’s because of his incredibly large … wait, this just in.. it is because of his youthful good looks.

I had the pleasure of meeting Glenn at Eugene Volokh’s quaint villa several months ago. Success hasn’t gone to his head: he was very nice, he knew pretty much everyone’s work, he didn’t dominate any conversations, he was eager to listen, he appeared good-natured, happy, normal. Wanted to tell me about the alt-tractorpunk movement sweeping the dustbowl.

All the things that Matt Drudge isn’t Glenn is: solely interested in the facts, not at all interested in self-promotion or keeping his number one status number one, no agenda, no axe to grind, no beef, no nonsense, well-educated, and interested in the finer things in life: family, punk rock, and writing in an intelligent manner.

The masses have successfully identified the correct lightening rod. And theres no mightier or more deserving rod than the Instapundit.

Rarely do i write about him, or link to him because i have no interest in politics, but I have much respect for him, and if anything serious went down, i would go to his site first.

and i am very grateful that he has put me on his links list cuz even though he never talks about me, understandedly, i get a steady 20-25 hits a day from him, and a few of those people hang around. I couldn’t ask for anything better.

Once the media outlets get their heads out of their asses, they will do the obvious and make Glenn a household name.

why he doesnt sell tshirts that just say “Glenn” is beyond me.

but they all will, someday, and when they do you can say that you heard about it all here, last.

happy birthday to the only thing decent about knoxville next to dollywood, the center of the blog kingdom, 64.247.33.250.

And now he has Comments. Look out.

i am having the hardest time with this proposal that i need to write

i used to have a teacher who said that if a writer gets writer’s block then he shouldn’t write right then. i never liked that teacher.

i went through all the strange motions of creation last night. i got super excited about how i was gonna do it. i got hyper. i got horny. i got hungry, then thirsty. then i wanted to use the phone. then the bathroom. then i sat down at the computer to do it, then i hit a wall.

my proposal is going to be in a blogspot blog and i was redesigning the page to look like the company who i wanted to work for. and there was this big blogspot ad on the top so i was able to give in to my procrastination when, after i paid to get the ad off the top, i got a message saying that the ad will stay on for 24-48 hours.

so that gives me a few more days to be a complete slacker.

im getting pretty tired of being a slacker.

what sucks is that nothing motivates me.

there used to be a time that i wanted to impress the pretty girls. but that doesn’t do much for me any more.

mostly cuz its not enough to have them impressed. and its not to have them want to make out with me.

i want them to completely adore me.

i guess im not that good of a blogger yet.

fuckers.

and yeah, the money’s good, but it’s not enough to get a cadillac.

so why do any of it? the fun?

im old, fun makes me sleepy.

there are a very small amount of people whose opinions do matter to me, and i think i do this for them, for their approval, for their recognition.

strange thing about that sort of motivation, rarely do they like the things that i write to impress them, generally they like the off-the-wall things that i just write out of my ass.

you know what i want though, secretly?

just between you and me?

it’s very idealistic, so don’t laugh.

just like how i don’t want the hotties to like me because of my clothes or my hair or my accent or my shoe size, things that aren’t really me, i want them to like me for my real parts.

anyhow, i want some big time magazine, i interviewed Anka who, at the time, was writing for Details, this was many moons ago, and she said that she totally made a living and could live in new york city by writing 12 articles a year for Details, anyhow, i want some fancy editor to say, “tony, forget the clips, we know who you are and we see bigger things for you. we want you to interview real people, real celebs. we want to put you on the road with a great camera, and we want you to write three articles a week.”

i love the road.

i love the people.

i love the taking of pictures.

i love to daydream.

i love writing and writing and writing and writing through the alleged writer’s block, and real carpal tunnel, you hack teacher, who wouldn’t know a real writer if he sat in the front row of your class with a Gwar tshirt that said “this toilet earth” across the front.

and for a very few, an extremely few exceptions, the old adage rings true, but of course i’ll polish it up for you:

those who cant rock

teach.

and those who can rock,

hit the road,

write,

and have catholic girl skirt contests.