1. Monday, August 26, 2002

    hi baby, why the long face? 

    i just lost in the first round.

    no, biggie, anna, it’s just a tournament.

    hi, it’s the u.s. open. it’s so not “just a tournament.”

    im sure you played well.

    well is not the word. i got slaughtered: 6-3, 6-0.

    venus get you again? serena? martina?

    shit, i wish. friggin Angelique Widjaja.

    in english, baby, sound it out.

    Angelique Widjaja! i am saying it right.

    what is that french?

    hell if i know, tony. i think shes from Indonesia or some shit.

    wheres that?

    far east.

    like Philly?


    im sorry pumpkin. i guess that means that you’ll be flying out here tonight, right?

    no, i have to stay out here to lose in doubles too.

    well thats good, at least you can focus on that then, right?

    are you even listening to me? i think im just going to focus on crying right now. oh, tony. why cant you be here with me? i just knew this was going to happen.

    postitive thoughts, my little vodka tonic.


    baby steps, all this year is just baby steps. by the end of this year you will be soooo much better it wont even be funny.

    people are laughing at me, its already funny — for them.

    i hate my internet connection.

    whats wrong with it?

    i dont know, it keeps telling me that this chick beat your ass.

    AAAAHHHH. thats her, thats her, take it down!

    that little kid beat you in NYC?

    please dont rub it in.

    oh, anna, now i think im going to cry with you.

    i know. fuck FUCK. FFFFFFFUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK!. my life sucks SO bad. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

    let it out, babooshka.

    fuckME! fuck fuck FUCK!

    what did you say?

    i said Fuck!

    no, i think something freudian slipped out, something that bears repeating.

    AAARRRRGGGGG. i dont know, please dont be mean im gonna jump right off the next bridge i see, i swear to friggin God.

    anna, baby. just chill. you had a rough time in canada, and this was a fluke. you need to stay positive. new gameplan. be aggressive, charge the net. play to kill. forget about playing to win, play to kill.

    and maybe a new outfit?

    think pink.

    i cant stand pink.

    ok, but think new outfit.

    i cant even think.

    i know, but stay away from bridges. just drink a lot tonight. go to the movies. and drink in the dark.

    that sounds so sad, tony.

    it’ll motivate you. any time you want to give up, just think of that drunken night in that dreary new york city movie theatre when you watched “The Country Bears” sippin on that 40 alone after you lost to some chick named Jumanji.

    you really are a twisted genius, tony.

    you really are better than you’re playing.

    you think so?

    no, not really.


    but im willing to be wrong, pretty girl.

    ok, im going to slit my wrists now.

    over the sink. or in the bathtub. dont leave a mess.

    i miss you so much, tony.

    i miss you too, my lil sugarcube. country bears, southern comfort, Spectravision, then call me tonight. k?

    k. bye thanks.