1. Tuesday, September 3, 2002

    massive underground superspy double entendre 

    maniacal xbi double doings going on today. so this will be the only post of the day.

    and i know i sound like the traveling salesman newlywed telling his dear wife that he really has to drive up to rhode island for this one big sales pitch, but i swear that i do. i promise that im not cheating on you. i promise that im not really holed up in some dingy Super 8 with a “dancer” named cheyenne who has a dragon tattoo from the back of her neck down her spine around her ass and down the back of her left leg, whose kisses are serpentine, whose nails dig and cut and slice, whose unsatiable appetite has turned her latest victim into a broken shell of a man only to be awaken with fresh squeezed apple juice as brown as her tan.

    it sucks that my palm pilot is broken and i cant update from the road.

    IT swears that they cant help me. it would have been nice if they had emailed me this morning to let me know. it would have been nice if i hadn’t had to SOS their boss first, it would have been nice if they would have accepted some of the unlicensed software that i could get my hands on in a matter of minutes, but no, life isn’t fair. it never has been.

    today is my friend Charlie’s birthday.

    charlie (pictured next to his latest sculpture “maui dream”) has had a long and storied career. he was editor & chief of the daily nexus, he was editor of Prognosis, he was teamed up with Layne on Tabloid, he was my roommate on haight street for a little while.

    charlie lived in the purple house and now moved across the 2 into a property that will soon be the coolest bed and breakfast in all of echo park.

    he has an incredible girlfriend and together they made one of the finest holiday dinners ive ever gorged on.

    what else? he reads a lot, writes a lot. lived in texas for a while for no good reason. doesn’t have a blog for no good reason. hasn’t had to go into an office to earn his keep, which is a huge accomplishment, if youre scoring at home, and if youre scoring at home please use protection.

    anyhow, today chuck turns 44. my doesn’t time fly. i don’t know if ive ever seen charlie naked, but i think ive seen him topless and i know why bonnie has stayed with him for so long.

    because they love each other a lot.

    so happy birthday charlie hornberger, friend who appeared on Rescue 911 and after they showed the clip of him stage diving off a 100 foot tree onto the swarming frisco new years eve union square crowd stunned host william shatner forcing him to quip, “fucking a man!”

    fucking a, indeed,

    man.