1. Monday, October 28, 2002

    ashley takes halloween seriously. 

    so seriously that she flew to vegas to see her sisters, get her hair and nails done, and go shopping at her favorite costume store and picked up exactly what she wanted.

    theres something nice about being with someone who knows what they want.

    if ashley likes you she loves you. if she holds your hand and she likes how it feels she’ll tell you right there. if shes mad at you she’ll yell. if you bummed her out, she’ll cry. she’s not a great bullshitter. she doesnt kiss people’s asses without a purpose, and in most cases, she has no purpose. she wants to be with who she wants to be with and thats it.

    me, im the best liar of all. so i try to keep that superpower to strangers on the street and for the busblog. if i like you i’ll talk to you. if i dont, i wont talk to you. i’ll raise my voice when im happy. if im really happy i’m quiet. thats sorta fucked up, but after a while people get it.

    ashley loves my hands. she says that theyre made of magic. she wants to be touched at all times. it doesnt matter where. some girls when you touch them for too long they’ll push you away. ashley has never pushed me away. ever. in that sense, we’re perfect. there was a movie a long time back called Gregory’s Girl. i think it was british. gregory finally found his gurl and he said that the earth rotates fast and you have to dance or else you’ll fall off. i think you should hold hands.

    it seems like whenever ashley is mad at me she’s in the bathroom or it’s 3:30 in the morning where all the neighbors can hear. and she says the worst things. things that if you overheard them out of context you’d think i was the worst person ever.

    i am the worst person ever but not like how she verbalizes it.

    ashley doesnt eat much. doesnt like crazy foreign foods. doesnt like any of the music i play for her. she thinks im dumb. shes right.

    it’s hard to believe sometimes that im almost a hundred years older than her because she is really smart. we can talk all day. still she gets jealous over the simplest things and that makes me wonder if she even knows me.

    it makes me think that in a pastlife she was my exwife.

    my other pastlife exwife: tanya