1. Tuesday, October 22, 2002

    did someone say they wanted a birthday lapdance? 

    oh hi christina agueilera.

    tony pierce, what do i have to do to get you to spell my name right?

    dont be offended, i dont spell anything right. i grammar bad too.

    oh im not offended. i want to burn it into your little head.

    you could get me a tshirt that says aguilera on it.

    here im trying to be sexy and youre making me laugh.

    my bad.

    let me turn on some music.

    the music is the only thing thats not turned on.

    “Ooh, I’m overdue / Give me some room / I’m comin’ through / Paid my dues / I’m in the mood “

    like it?

    i love your new song christina.

    like the lyrics?

    what lyrics?

    “DJ’s spinnin’ (show your hands) / Let’s get dirrty (that’s my chant) / I need that (uh) to get me off / Sweat until my clothes come off”

    oh, those lyrics. yes i like them.

    is this okay that im this close?

    mmm hmmm.

    want me to get closer?

    technically i dont think you could.

    this is closer.


    wanna see if i can get closer still?

    get any closer and you’ll be inside me– HELLO.

    not that kinky?

    “Temperature’s up (can you feel it) / ‘Bout to erupt “

    thats kinky?

    thats the first page of the unabridged volume called kinky part one

    oh, christina aguelira

    i knew i could get you to spell my name right

    “It’s about time that I came to start the party / Sweat drippin’ over my body / Dance and gettin’ just a little naughty”

    so what do you want for your birthday, tony pierce?

    swirled peas.


    more cookware

    you so crazy.

    i like it when you talk Black, christina.

    im glad.

    actually, i like everything that you do.

    so why didnt you say hi to me that time at the viper room?

    i was blown away at the time.

    by me? oh youre sweet.

    okay, i dont think thats a lapdance any more


    oh, look at that, it is.

    mmmm hmmmm.

    “Ahh, heat is up / So ladies, fellas, drop your cups.”

    what do you want for my birthday christina?

    i want to let this little ho out.

    it’s not out?

    oh, it’s trying to, but theres a real little one that wants to get out, she cant find the way.

    that must suck for her.

    yes. but i think you might know the route.

    the route?

    yes, the path. do you know how to help the dirrty girl get out of me, tony?

    i think she’s gonna have to leapfrog over the tramp, the slut, and the closet stripper who are already out. but i’ll try.

    and here i thought you liked me.

    like? i love you. wait, are those knee pads?


    marry me.

    “Tight hip huggers (low fo’ sho’) / Shake a little somethin’ (on the floor)”

    so can you help me get that little dirrty girl out?

    thats the beauty of science, christina.

    whats that baby?

    one can pose theories, but only through repetitive experimentation can one safely surmise a valid conclusion.

    lets experiment then, mr. busblog.

    but you gotta be this high to ride this ride.

    maybe you can help me up.