1. Thursday, October 17, 2002

    i have a hot date with a hot girl tonight. 

    it makes me a little nervous because i really don’t want to do it. shes got gorgeous eyes, juicy lips, dynamite body. booming system up top, in the back. boop, bop, bang. has a little latin flava to her with a perfect ass. white teeth. brains. fast car. a convertible. a good job. money. but shes the wrong astrological sign.

    i know i know i know what youre going to say. youre going to call me gay. well, thats not very nice, because she has gay friends and they love her.

    in my mind we’ve tried to make it work, and it didnt work. i dont remember the fights we would get in, but there were lots of them. way more than i had with ashley and im done dating her too. fights begat fights. happiness begat fights. maybe we were both too sensitive. im accepting some responsibility too, here. it take two to slam dance.

    so she emailed me the other day and asked if i wanted to have drinks tonight and i said yes. how can you say no.

    chris tricked me into a five year relationship with exactly that line a while back, but see, chris was the right sign for me.

    sometimes i judge people like tom cruise and billy joel and rod stewart and mick jagger and i think how can those guys get rid of their terrific girlfriends and wives?

    but living 108 years, going on 109, i have learned that not every hot chick who’s tons of fun and sexy and smart and creative and all the good things matches up with losers like me.

    so im terribly afraid that tonight will end up in either another fight, or a wild romp that will lead to confusion, or just confusion or just fighting or something.

    i dont see how it can be good.

    but i am usually wrong about affairs of the heart.

    and i am constantly pleasantly suprised by humanity and twists of fate or the grace of God, whichever you prefer. especially when the happy ending can result in a warm smile from a hot girl.

    this is the toughest trial in my trivial life today. that, and finding a blank tape for Survivor tonight.