1. Thursday, October 10, 2002

    my man Chris C. tells me of these Tsar dates 

    and for that i thank him mucho.

    TSAR LIVE SHOWS

    Thursday, October 31st in Sacramento, CA /// Friday, November 1st in Oakland, CA @ Stork Club. /// Saturday, November 2nd in San Jose, CA @ Plant 51. /// Sunday, November 3rd in San Francisco, CA @ Cafe du Nord. /// Saturday, November 9th in Bakersfield, CA @ Lucky’s Bar & Grill.

    makes me think a weekend trip to frisco on the the first of next month might sound like a fun idea. and to see Tsar at that swanky jazz club on market street on sunday might be too irrisistable to pass up.

    www.dawnolsen.com is on the air. first she was on blogspot. then she moved over temporarilly to somewhere else. now she has her own domain.

    welcome to the big leagues, slugger.

    what’s her first order of business? to begin with a few lines about dildoes.

    you know why i love dawn?

    i love her because it is my fondest wish that many midwest wives are like her. i know its not true, but i can dream cant i?

    shes definately the way that i would want my midwestern wife to be like.

    and just think, if dawn lived in another part of the world, they’d throw a burka over her head and take away her laptop.

    thank you founding fathers for having the foresight to see the possibilites of free speech and equal rights.

    true, having the freedom to type about dildoes might not be exactly what they had in mind, but then again it, it might be exactly what they had in mind.

    big difference between dawn and bob costas? costas would never have the guts to write about his dildo.

    first time emailer “Jason” writes in to say that he agrees with me on costas except he loved what bob said during the sydney olympics closing ceremonies, “every famous Australian is on that stage right now,” costas chortled in his snide lil way.

    Jason hits it right on the head. Costas is perfect for warm fuzzy little events of nothingness like the olympics where most moments of sap couldnt possibly be overshadowed with even more sap, or when blocks of time need to be filled with fluff. i would be very satisfied if i only was forced to see costas, ahmad, and peekaboo street bundled in their parkas from the base of a long jumping competition at the winter olympics every four years. but please then never again. better yet, put him on the Today show to ensure that i wouldnt have to be bothered with him.

    anna and enrique engaged? over his dead body. i dont even like to think of such blasphemy. it was bad enough when gwen stefani got hitched to that dude from Bush but this would be a slap in the face to all that would be decent in the world. i’ll make a deal with you anna. you cant get engaged to anyone but me unless you win wimbeldon. i will consider your silence an acceptance of this agreement.

    and finally today, we all know about my little crush on christina aguilera. we all know that i think it’s perfectly okay for a young woman to express her sensuality and desires in song. but must she wear a crucifix to a press conference held to hype her single “Dirrty”?

    i’m gonna sound so old, but here goes: in my day, when madonna wore her crusifix(es) and grinded around singing “Lucky Star” it was in defiance to the Catholic church. it was just as political as it was shocking (to catholic boys like me.) but it really did mean something.

    so whats girlfriend thinking sporting her necklace like it aint no thing?

    oh if only she would return my calls so we could get to the bottom of this pressing matter.

    wouldnt wanna make me cross.

    [rimshot]