1. Wednesday, October 23, 2002

    wow. 

    when i turned 50 i was lucky enough to have a girlfriend. she knew the big 5-0 would be hard on me so she got us a sweet room across the bay, she ordered up some to-go from my favorite chinese restaurant, dressed up as dirty as she could, and banged the living shit out of me.

    it made a difficult birthday go down a lot smoother.

    despite that wonderful evening, since then all birthdays have been tough for me.

    i may not look my age, but sometimes i feel it when i’m trying to steal home, or running a hook route, or chasing a perp down a long alley. mortality is a bitch and each anniversary sometimes reminds me more of one more step to doom than a celebration of life.

    the love that was showered upon me yesterday through emails and gifts and comments and web pages out there was overwhelming And i got banged by a girl who tried to dress like a dirty ho.

    sometimes i wonder if i am the luckiest man in the world.

    yesterday there was no question.

    i feel very touched by the warmth that you all shared with me.

    i swear to you that i will do my best to continue to bring you all the fucked up weirdness that you come here to find each day.

    this morning, however, the first order of business it to wipe this goofy smirk off my face.

    thanks again,

    tony