on the bus i was thinking about who i’d dedicate the book to.

my pal thor garcia dedicated his first collection of short stories to marc brown, because he was always there which is probably the finest dedication of all times.

and i was thinking about the old fashioned to my mother like jd did in catcher in the rye.

then i was thinking about dedicating it to alan greenspan because if he hadn’t stuck his little dick into the economy when it was booming i would be making probably $75k a year flying around the world making dreams come true instead of writing the busblog, so out of a sow’s rear ive spun some silk.

then i thought maybe the boss who fired me or the girl who said all the rotten things that led to me getting fired even though i hired them both and made their lives pretty easy. but if those two hadn’t done what they did i wouldn’t have been rehired four hours later a hero and a semi-martyr and i wouldn’t have been reassigned to fight crime with karisa.

then i was thinking about dedicating it to her, but then ashley would set fire to my beachhouse and i’d have to prosecute her to the fullest.

so the list grew: bud selig, master p, anna, mariah, elvis, angus young, hank williams, mozart, hef, kobe, phil jackson, michael jackson, my attorney.

then i thought of something that made me laugh so hard i nearly fell over

to my baby’s momma

but people might get the wrong idea, and the purpose of anything i type is to get laid or paid so ixnay on the baby jokes cuz until she takes a dna test that shit ain’t really all that funny.

except to me.

then i thought i should dedicate it to the Los Angeles Times who refuses not only to offer me my dream job, but didn’t even bother to write an LA Times Magazine feature on me and here i am only a few subway stops from their plush headquarters.


im sure ashley would want me to dedicate it to her, but shes been a very bad girl and proved the other day that her love isn’t for me, but for another so let him learn to read and write and when he puts out a book then he can dedicate it to her.

i have a few titles that he can use if he gets stuck.

it is so hard for me not to write about that stuff but im doing my best not to. shes a sweet girl whose still in love with her first love. and you will always be in love with your first love. even if they’re less than perfect. even if guys like me do everything for you and fill your wallets with cash that you in turn spend on clothes and food and sin.

i don’t want to write about it because i want it to be over and done with. she asked if there was anything that she could do to make things better and there really isn’t. she has a new tattoo that she could put my name inside i kept thinking but then i thought that wouldn’t even do it.

theres nothing.

have you ever been so disgusted with something that nothing could make things better. not a zillion apologies. not ten zillion catholic girl skirts.

for a while there were really only two girls i liked and only one of them liked me back and now neither do, so i write to you.

and yesterday i asked my friend, so why then am i so happy.

and she said cuz you’re illegally insane.

In Search of My Life’s Stories

The Blueprint

Universal Music Group, 9/18/2001



Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the astonishing…

H to the izz-O…V to the izz-A…

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the 8th wonder of the world

The flow o’ the century…oh it’s timeless…HOVE!

Thanks for comin’ out tonight

You coulda been anywhere in the world, but you’re here with me

I appreciate that…uuunnnh…

H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A

Fo’ shizzle my nizzle used to dribble down in VA

Was herbin’ em in the home o’ the terrapins

Got it dirt cheap for them

Plus if they was short wit’ cheese I would work wit’ them

Boy and we…got rid of that dirt for them

Wasn’t born hustlers I was burpin’ em

H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A

Fo’ sheezy my neezy keep my arms so greasy

Can’t leave rap alone the game needs me

Haters want me clapped and chromed it ain’t easy

Cops wanna knock me, D.A. wanna box me in

But somehow, I beat them charges like Rocky

H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A

Not guilty, he who does not feel me is not real to me

Therefore he doesn’t exist

So poof…vamoose son of a bitch

H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A

Fo’ shizzle my nizzle used to dribble down in VA

H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A

That’s the anthem get’cha damn hands up

H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A

Not guilty ya’ll got-ta feel me

H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A

That’s the anthem get’cha damn hands UP!

Holla at me…

I do this for my culture

To let ’em know what a nigga look like…when a nigga in a roaster

Show ’em how to move in a room full ‘o vultures

Industry shady it need to be taken over

Label owners hate me I’m raisin’ the status quo up

I’m overchargin’ niggaz for what they did to the Cold Crush

Pay us like you owe us for all the years that you hold us

We can talk, but money talks so talk mo’ bucks


Hove is back, life stories told through rap

Niggaz actin’ like I sold you crack

Like I told you sell drugs…no…

Hove did that so hopefully you won’t have to go through that

I was raised in the pro-jects, roaches and rats

Smokers out back, sellin’ they mama’s sofa

Lookouts on the corner, focused on the ave

Ladies in the window, focused on the kinfolk

Me under a lamp post, why I got my hand closed?

Cracks in my palm, watchin’ the long arm o’ the law

So you know I seen it all before

I seen hoop dreams deflate like a true fiend’s weight

To try and to fail, the two things I hate

Succeed in this rap game, the two things is great

H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A

What else can I say about dude, I gets bizzay

H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A…


see me smiling?

thats cuz my new girlfriend linked me. she pointed to the nirvana photo essay. whats her name? hmmm. well it’s either Kalle or Halle. or maybe neither of those. is it really that important to know your girlfriends name in this modern world?

i wish she didnt live in orange county and i wish she didnt like no doubt and i wish she wasnt so damn talented. but i love her art and i love that her site is called youfuckedupmylife.net

i heart gurls with issues.

im not the only one, as it looks like she already has a fan club.

where the hell’s my fan club?

chicks get everything i swear. so do you think she likes older guys? like super older guys? shes 22, im 109. do you think she likes guys with a slight belly?

the xbi softball playoffs are tonight. do you think she likes power hitting shortstops with a little speed?

shes a gemini. thank you lord. and latin? i think so. ive been with a latin girl once. it was muy caliente.

would she be impressed that i sold 62 books in not two weeks like i thought yesterday, but in 8 days? and today i got promisory notes from people who want to buy books on friday and are curious as to if they can get the super discounted rate.

what would halle do?

often im inspired on the bus. and whereas its not really fair to the 62 who got it together and ordered the book when they were supposed to, i came up with this plan that might help the slackers.

buy two or more books at regular price, free shipping.

joe cocker is on regis singing an inxs song.

life is beautiful.

im gonna go four for four tonight. our team is gonna go to the xbi world series.

i wonder if halle likes a guy in baseball pants?

okay, now today’s fun link comes to us via my buddy robert at viralplanet, it’s a fun toboggan flash game. sick and fun. for more funny videos and games go to viral planet!