email exchange number one

from: superfamous girl

to: me

subj: what will you name your kids

tony,

ive always wondered, what will you name your kids?

and what are your goals for next year?

from: me

to: superfamous girl

subj: re: what will you name your kids

angus, merle, hank, buster, lefty, kobe — only for a girl, and whitey

next year i will:

have a car, quit the blog, not work here, have a gf, be so old, not be so bored

from: superfamous girl

to: me

subj: re: re: what will you name your kids

i went to school with with a kid named john. his brothers were mark & luke.

i thought that was a riot.

he sells coke now.

and is a dirtbag.

i lived upstairs from a kid named whitey in college. he lived with brian rad. i used to drop heavy objects on the floor to drive them mad. they had forks on their ceiling and full bottles of robitussin at all times. i kissed them both. but not at the same time. whitey was a poker who gave me a gigantic hickey.

one time, i passed out on halloween on a beanbag in their room while dressed like a dead cheerleader. i woke up and my face was stuck to the beanbag.

i ended up being late for work at the mental institution.

i also got tide in my eye trying to write on the ceiling so that we could see it with the blacklight on. it hurt so bad that i thought i was going to go blind. i even called the school nurse.

uppity negro