1. Monday, November 18, 2002

    i knew the raiders would make the patriots their bitch 

    so on friday i made a u-turn after i left work and climbed back into chopper one.

    this time without the prying eyes and hands and commands of hq.

    i took her up and started pressing all the buttons i didnt see described in the three ring binders ive been pouring over.

    most people wouldnt recommend that you do such things at 40k feet but most people would tell you that im not most people.

    fortunately choppper one is idiot proof because the xbi knows that the only people who would ever be crazy enough to be flying an untested black copter that could be mistaken by the military as being a threat, would be crazy enough to

    oh shit.

    the seat suddenly became very warm and began vibrating like crazy.

    a sultry voice said


    i flicked another switch and a fluid poured into my mask.

    canadian dry ginger ale

    i flicked the switch again

    diet canadian dry ginger ale

    i flicked it twice more and the fluid stopped.

    instead of pressing the buttons or blindly, and may i add, foolishly touching the controls, you can just ask me. the voice said.

    how about shutting the hell up. i thought.

    i should probably alert you that i can also read your mind. your helmet, captain.

    i pushed the throttle and began tearing across the sky.

    ive been waiting for you the voice said. no need to fight me.

    i pulled back on the wheel and the copter began to flip.

    the boys below warned me not to try to “eat her out” which was a crude way of saying to fly upside down.

    suddenly the machine righted itself, the panel lights flashed in unison and blinked off.

    not so fast

    i couldnt move my arms. i couldnt move my feet. the lights went back on but they blinked in patterns.

    ive adjusted the magnetic field in the cabin. your jet suit is now forcing you to sit still.

    and thats when chopper one took it out of first gear and began to really fly.

    random fixation