1. Tuesday, November 12, 2002

    woof 

    doomed dog?

    yep it’s me.

    but, but i thought you were toast.

    nope.

    but how did you escape?

    turns out you got your accounting wrong, and someone from the xbi showed up and paid for the 60th book in person.

    but i heard that you were killed.

    where did you hear that smart guy?

    uh, uh, drudge.

    Drudge? since when has that guy ever been right?

    i dont know, 9 years ago.

    exactly, in dog years thats like 100 years ago.

    well, im glad youre alive, little puppy, you look good.

    food and water will do wonders.

    okay well, i wish you luck. thanks for helping me sell all those books.

    dont i get a cut?

    a cut? at ten bones im barely covering cost.

    what are you printing them on silk? hand over my share.

    look, if i wanted to give people a cut of the earnings, i would get a real publisher.

    good point.

    sixty books in two weeks. thats kind of amazing dude. i gotta tell you. what bookstore sells that many books of an unpublished author for a book that isnt even named?

    beats me. but then, im just a stray dog probably about to drown in this surf. hey how many did you sell to friends?

    about nine.

    i dont know what you’ve got, mr. man. but it sure is something.

    you know im starting to think you’re right, mr. dog. remember those sorority girls from oklahoma?

    cant say i do.

    well theres these beautiful young girls who have a very nice blog theyve just got started up. if you go to their links page where do you see my name?

    holy shit. right underneath “days.”

    thats respect, dog. and they bought a book.

    maybe you should put together a book tour and meet your fans.

    nah, once they met me they wouldnt like me no more.

    yeah. probably not. and it probably isnt even worth trying.

    no.

    yeah, you probably wouldnt want to rent a van and get welch and layne and moxie in there and rake in the green.

    nah, wouldnt want that.

    woof.

    well, okay fella. heres my roast beef sandwich from lunch. no hard feelings?

    nah. no hard feelings. thanks for making me sorta famous for a few days.

    bye lil fella enjoy the surf

    woof woof!

    topless bukkake