1. Tuesday, November 26, 2002

    the young girls write and write and write and i’ll tell you, theres nothing like girls who can write 

    they ask me about things and i’ll tell them whatever they ask.

    they question me about boys and whether they should break up with their boyfriends and i say stay with you man. we’re all the same, really, and in your youth you should figure out how to mend things and compromise, not how to break up.

    they ask me about sexual positions and i check their IDs and i tell them make sure he’s there and you’re there and thats all you need to work on.

    they ask me what its like to be 109 and i tell them its just like being 18 except you’ve seen everything hitchcock ever made.

    sometimes they’ll send me pictures, and thats nice, sometimes they’ll mail me gifts and who doesnt like gifts, but mostly they pay attention to me and i would say thats the best thing in the world for a single man and the worst for a not single man.

    and all of this because of you, blog. wonderfully arranged zeroes and ones laying resident on a box in a server in a cage far away from here.

    thank you zeroes and ones.

    thank you. like the jiggaman said, you could be anywhere in the world tonight, but youre here, and i appreciate that.

    some say this is all a grand experiement in communication. some poo-poo it. some dont even know what to think. the cynics call it the loudest bird call in modern history. i call it a miracle.

    one day my princess will come and i wouldnt be surprised if she came from the pictures and text found on this very blog.

    i just hope shes legal, lives nearby, and knows where i can find a decent paying job so i can buy a car and some clothes, and maybe a tv for the bedroom.

    and hopefully she likes to make out to my favorite rock group, tsar.