1. Friday, December 27, 2002

    i did pretty good on the college girl. 

    made her seriously reconsider some of her dreams, and i broke her spirits in a few places.

    so then they sent me on the team that was working on the Associated Press.

    the AP was deciding who was going to be their Female Athelete of the Year.

    we didnt want Serena Williams to win. satan doesnt like it when young Black girls from compton step into the lilywhite world of women’s professional tennis and completely dominate in spite of her agressively original style, form-fitting outfits, and colorful family.

    satan wanted the sexy swedish golfer annika sorrenstam to win.

    he felt sorry for her that shes been so overlooked despite clearly being the most consistantly powerful womens golfer over the last few years.

    and shes hot.

    so it was my job to join the chorus of whispers into the ears of the associated press female athelete of the year committee.

    some of the things i said were:

    you cant name a black tennis player the athlete of the year.

    if you give serena the award, youre also awarding her creepy parents.

    serena’s too black and too proud.

    how you gonna give a sista with dyed blonde hair an award? sheeeeeet.

    you know venus throws the games against her.

    steriods., the girl is on steroids.

    of course big black girl like that is gonna beat the hell out of a little cute frail white girl like… jennifer capriatti.

    dont encourage them.

    didnt mia hamm do anything interesting this year? oh yeah, she got engaged to nomar, give it to her.

    youre going to hate yourself when she poses nude in playboy in a few years.

    liberal press!

    didnt matter.

    serena won by a landslide.

    when we got back to hell, we were punished by having to watch the lakers lose to sacramento.

    then we got jabbed at with long pokers that reached all the way into the heavens.

    true boy