as we bounced down the blue highway through the desert. it was a bumpy ride, but they had olympia tall boys in a cooler that never seemed to empty.
after a while i fell asleep and woke up and it was nighttime and we had just pulled into what looked to be a whore house.
coming out? kurt asked.
it was just like you’d imagine it: girls in wild west outfits, long skirts, petticoats and bonnets being chased around by guys in their long johns spilling their jugs of moonshine while a man in a vest smoking a stogie bangs out ragtime on a worn out piano.
i love you, kurt cobain.
well this isnt really what you probably think it is.
this is heaven, right?
no, we’re still a long way from heaven.
its a house of ill repute, no?
sorta. these women are yours for the taking, but first you have to accomplish a very important task. several, actually.
just say the word my man.
i had my eye on an asian lass who was scrubbing the back of an old prospector with a brush with a long handle in a bathtub that stood right there in the middle of all the action. she winked at me and blew me a kiss that i swear to you ladies and gentlemen, i felt right on my cheek.
behind that door right there is an arcade. there are many pinball machines in there. it will be your job to play and think about your life.
shit man, are you sure this aint heaven?
now just dont think about just any old thing as this room is special. what you need to do is think about any unfinished business you might have to do.
like bills i need to pay?
exactly. bills, tasks you havent yet done. this is your chance to tie up any loose ends. think. play. and as you play, your thoughts will get fed into the machine and the little angels will do as needs to be done.
so like, i have this busblog book.
yeah, creepy mindreader. Blook was supposed to get sent out on Friday but i got stabbed.
okay, what you do is as you play think about where the list of address are and where the books are and pretend you have esp and tell the angels what you want them to do.
can they autograph my name for me?
yes, they can do anything you want. but they wont do anything unless you think it, so think every step.
so if your list is behind a wall safe, esp them the combonation to the lock.
ahhh, i see, well my list is in my hotmail. so i esp them my passwords?
ok. got it.
awesome, i’ll be over here watching the cockfight.
hey wait a second, kurt, why is all of this in a whore house?
it’s here because once youre done, with everything, Everything, then you get to hang out here for a few hours and celebrate.
i walked through the swinging doors and there i saw all my favorite pinball machines. there was Fireball and Earthquake, High Speed and Black Knight, Star Wars and Addams Family, a super oldschool KISS machine was being tossed around by a surly fellow who obviously had a lot on his mind. I saw Hercules which was a super huge one, and the Simpsons pinball machine. Theatre of Magic, which i adored. Super old school 8 Ball which brought back some memories, let me tell you.
There was Big Guns and my beloved Fire!, Medievil Madness and who doesn’t love Pin*Bot?
I wanted to get down to business so i stopped looking around and settled in at one of my faves, Cyclone, which has been my bitch ever since we first met.
a lovely cigarrette girl offered me some candies or gum and all i asked for was a quarter. she gave me one and kissed my cheek and walked away with a little wink.
and i thought about all the books. and i told the angels my passwords which were all so easy, and i told them what to write in each of the books, and i told them to read the email messages from all the nice people. and i told them how to pack them and to include love and tender care.
then i paid what few bills i had. then i had them write out my will, which was pretty much, “to chris, i give everything. just like i did that one time.”
then i told them to hide my xbi weapons over in the dumpster behind the church next door. then i told them to kiss ashley on the cheek cuz shes so super sweet.
and then i told them how to update this blog.
and when the third ball sank i felt the warm breath of an asian girl, yes, the one from earlier, and she had a shot of rum in one hand and a six ounce can of coke in the other and her twin sister arrived with three slices of pizza and i followed them upstairs, and they shut the door and locked it.