1. Thursday, January 30, 2003

    fell asleep on the lap of the clipper girl 

    last night as she stroked my ‘fro and told me that it was ok that i pass out, that i had had a long day and i work at a place that doesnt understand my genius or my coolness under pressure or my happy-go-lucky nature.

    she said that not everyone knows that when i smile it’s not always a happy smile, that sometimes it’s a nervous smile, or a smile to cover super sadness or freaked-out-ness. everything is a fake out. everything is high school sports. everything is trying to outwit the opponent into thinking that youre the fucking man.

    and everyone is the opponent.

    clipper girl kissed my forehead and asked me if i was interested in having her spend the night.

    i said, what happened to our movie?

    she said, its over sweetie.

    i asked, was it good?

    she said, if you have to ask… then she laughed.

    she laughs at all of her own jokes. i like that cuz i do the same damn thing.

    at night i was having a nightmare and she held me and told me it was going to be alright.

    i said, i dont think it is gonna be all right.

    she said, it might not ever be all right.

    i said all right.

    nothing better than a girl you can trust.

    then neither of us could get back to sleep so we talked real soft, whispering at each other and watching the clock change from 3:04am to 3:05am and she asked me if i wanted to get a haircut after work at her girlfriend’s salon.

    i told her that i would rather go to the barbershop in the hood that i like to go to.

    she said i would like her girlfriend’s salon.

    i said, no i didnt think i would.

    then she said she wanted to have a midnight snack and i told her i was on a diet and she got out of bed walked out to the kitchen with that fine ass, fixed up a banana split with chocolate sauce on the top and came back into bed with that shit and offered me a taste, but all i got was mostly whipped creme.

    which isnt so bad when you think about it.

    the next best thing from la is coming