1. Friday, January 3, 2003

    on my way home i saw a sign that said Customer Service 

    i never saw this sign before and i followed the arrow to a long line.

    after about an hour i made it to the front of the line and said hello to the woman who said hello back at me.

    yes, hi. i was wondering where i can find pants. i have no pants.

    you can find pants at the store.

    she rang a bell.

    next!

    no no. please i have a few more questions. i heard that on new year’s day we can be re-judged.

    dont believe your dreams. you didnt follow or believe them on Earth, Hell shouldnt be any different.

    yes, but i shouldnt be here. i wasnt all that bad. plus i loved the Lord.

    do you want to fill out a complaint?

    may i?

    no.

    she rang a bell again.

    next!

    just a few more questions, please. im new here.

    you didnt take the orientation yet?

    no. what orientation?

    you need to go to the Welcome Center and tell them youre new.

    will they give me pants?

    no. you get pants at the store. they will also have shirts for you there too.

    when will i get pants?

    pardon me?

    i am trying to be nice here and i am getting no satisfaction.

    what sort of satisfaction were you looking for?

    i dont know. doesnt the squeaky wheel get the grease?

    she pulled a chain and a bucket of hot grease dumped on me.

    it was hot.

    and greasy.

    she rang a bell.

    next