1. Wednesday, January 22, 2003

    the raiders can win this fucking game with their eyes closed. 

    i was talking to my computer who had a few questions for me.

    what are you going to about those kids by the front gates?

    what kids?

    didnt you see those college girls?

    no, where?

    up front, fool! theyve been out at that gate since you were murdered!

    why?

    because they were so sad that you were gone and they waited for you to come back cuz they knew you would.

    what do you think they want?

    they probably want to talk to you.

    i got nothing to say.

    it doesnt matter, man. just say hi.

    my computer knows im terribly shy. it knows that im lazy and once i put on my pajama bottoms then thats it for me for the night. it knows that if you say hi to one group of college girls whove been waiting outside, youll have to say to all of them.

    i think some of them are strippers.

    you know the sad thing, computer?

    no sad stories tonight, tony.

    sad thing is as much as i love you, im going to replace you soon.

    are you trying to hurt my feelings?

    no.

    good, cuz i dont have any feelings.

    good cuz me neither.

    lies lies lies. is that all you learned in hell?

    they lie way more on earth than in hell.

    is that true?

    nah.

    reverse cowgirl