1. Thursday, January 30, 2003

    strippergram showed up at my door 

    with triple d breasteses, a six pack, and an academy screener of The Good Girl.

    the academy has figured out that i fall asleep during these movies if they get sent over too late in the eve, so ive been getting this shit pretty much right after i get home from the office.

    im not a big fan of Friends. i probably have only seen three episodes all the way through. maybe four.

    fuck friends.

    but i am a big fan of the independent film office space which starred the friends chick and the good girl has a similar tone of subtle humor.

    i wish i knew some subtle humor.

    me and clipper girl were sitting around watching american idol the other night and she said, “you havent thought of a good video game in a while. think of one right now.”

    shes a super cute girl and for some reason she always inspires me.

    so i said, ok, its called Back From The Dead and what you can be is an assassinated hero like martin luther king jr. or ghandi or jfk or joan of ark or someone and you walk around the city and you get to blow away bad people and your goal is to snuff out enough of them that you get to go head to head against a giant version of whoever it was who assasinated you.

    only problem is the cops dont know that youre Back From The Dead, plus you’re leaving a trail of blood behind you from your mortal wound, so youre pretty easy to follow, so its a good idea to ask someone nicely if you can use their car.

    most people wont let you so you might have to steal it when they go shopping.

    joan of ark is constantly on fire so you have to make sure that she doesnt get too close to trees or children else they will start on fire.

    clipper girl yawned. not at all impressed.

    sounds like a grand theft auto ripofff she said and inspected her toenail polish.

    ah yes, but the real game is Back From the Deal Online where you can team up with some of your favorite martyrs and form a gang and roam the streets like a herd and become one of the strangest troupes around.

    problems walking around with abe lincoln with a hole in his hat or jfk with most of his face blown off is that you not only attract crowds but also paparazzi who are constantly telling the press where you are.

    so you have to keep moving.

    dont stop.

    today im getting a haircut.

    mc brown’s super bowl party pictures