1. Monday, January 6, 2003

    they had cable down here in hell for a while, 

    but they stopped because the customer service was so horrible. so we’re back to rabbit ears. the only channel that comes in any good is fox which is cool because i get to see the simpsons and tonight i get to see joe millionaire.

    this week though is Ashleys Birthday week.

    the Daisy Princess turns 21 on Saturday.

    want to buy her stuff? it’s cool with me, just go here, something i made last year.

    ashley is more than just a hot chick, she’s a sensation. shes an inspiration. being in hell makes me miss her even more because a lot of the girls here wear their hair in a bun so that it wont catch fire.

    one super nice thing about ashley is that whenever i wanted her hair down she would just undo her rubberband and shake her head all glamourously and her flowing golden locks would fall like as if in a fairy tale.

    little known fact about h-e- double pogo sticks, if someone prays for you you can hear it. and ashley said the cutest little prayer for me the other day, she said that she thought that my last two photo essays were really good and she missed me and that made me happy.

    a nice prayer like that kills an evil deed in hell.

    i think it was her kind words that paved the way for those kickass playoff games this weekend, but who knows.

    if i was back on earth, what would i do with a completely legal ashley princess?

    maybe take her to a champagne brunch?

    lil lapdance at the forty-deuce?

    six pack of miller cans under the overpass in east la?

    bottle of night train wrapped in a brown paper bag in an alley off crenshaw?

    the correct answer, as always, is e.) all of the above.

    one of the times we broke up for good