1. Wednesday, February 19, 2003

    pretty girl sent me a picture of herself naked last night. 

    these things didnt happen to me before i began blogging. let me think, did it? no, it definately didnt.

    and shes young, america, youn-ung.

    probably too young.

    funny thing is, so much that we boys do in life is so that beautiful young girls will pay attention to us and want us to see them naked. it’s why i took saxophone lessons in grade school, and why i dress so damn fly.

    still, theres something inside me that says for me not to go for it.

    i think deep down im a scientist stuck in the body of a slacker.

    i am very interested in so many things and i like to see how they work. once i was tangled up with a pretty girl and all i wanted to do was trace the outline of her leg with my finger. it was the closest i felt comfortable getting to her. some girls i just want to kiss. some i just want to look at from across the room.

    young girls couldnt possibly understand this behavoir.

    hell, i barely understand it.

    plus the idea of human guinea pigs isnt a very popular one, but it’s not like i mean any harm by it.

    to me everything is an experiment. everything is fiddling with something to see how it reacts, see how it works, see how i work. timothy leary said he didnt do drugs to see what drugs did, he did them to see what his brain was about. lots of times either im trying to figure out what my heart is about, or my brain, or other people’s hearts.

    you can learn alot about people by kissing them or by trying to sell them something.

    try it.

    im sure quite a few of the women that ive been involved with were experimenting, in one way or another with me, and when they were done with me, they dumped me like a heavy bag of laundry. my feelings were a little bruised at first, but when i got my senses together i realized that i just got to spend two amazing nights with a firey redhead direct from dublin. why on earth would i consider that a bad thing?

    it does become a bad thing when feelings get involved and the catch 22 of kissing is that feelings are bound to get worked up, which they should.

    which is why i just sit at home most days working on my web page, alone, on the other end of an aol chat window where some of the hottest women in north america say some of the sweetest things and show me all the things i could have if i merely hopped in my flying car and zoomed away.

    last night i worked on indexing a bunch more photo essays.

    nobody got hurt.

    in other news, this chick just writes whenever the hell she damn well pleases, doesnt she?