1. Wednesday, February 5, 2003

    rolled off rosalita 

    showered and walked out the door early for once, but then realized i hadnt taken a leak. whatever. i just wanted to get out of there. she and i werent getting along much any more and it would probably be the last time i would be on top of that sweet tan ass.

    even though she swore she wasnt getting any from anyone else, you could tell she was full of it. suddenly more confident and far less clutchy. not as desperate when she would call me up and ask if i would walk the two blocks to her house, and not so upset on the times that i would say no.

    i said no the other night cuz i was working on my lawyers website, i said no last friday cuz i was going to vegas, i said yes last night at one am cuz it was cold and i was out of firewood. but this morning looking at her dirty mirror and eyeing a second toothbrush i was hit with a wave of disappointment that she felt she couldnt be honest with me, or at least cool.

    didnt even walk a block when i passed a group of well dressed church members huddled in a circle with their pussy ass styrofoam coffees and their suits, one of them, a tall one, broke rank and approached me, i saw he had eyed me the moment i slammed rosalitas door.

    hi neighbor! interested in joining us for a meeting this evening?

    gonna talk about Jesus? i asked.

    he hesitated.

    no thanks, then.

    we allow all religions in our church he said.

    pot smoking rum drinking devil music cranking Christians?

    one of the suit wearers smiled.

    whats the purpose of the drinking and the drugs? the tall one said.

    i fucking hate alpha males.

    whats the purpose of the coffee? whats the purpose of the suits? whats the purpose of any of us standing here in the fucking cold at eight am instead of sleeping or fucking or eating or reading the paper next to a big titted panamanian.

    one of the women in the group couldnt restrain her mouth from gaping open.

    she wore one of those little bow ties for women as if she was on a praire somewhere. the smoke from her menthol escaped through her nose.

    you sound like you really need our church. the tall dude said.

    i need a lot of things i said, but if your church isnt talking about Jesus then i dont want anything to do with it.

    thats pretty close-minded of you. he said and smiled and looked at his buddies.

    ever taken it in the ass, pal?

    the smile vanished.

    no, i cant say i have.

    see, now we’re both closeminded, mr. namecaller. drink more coffee. read the Bible.

    i walked past them.

    i heard him whisper something to his group and they laughed.

    i stopped and turned around. no motherfuckers with suits were going to laugh at me.

    what did you say?

    he turned around.

    i said, what did you say, fuck.

    never be afraid of a fight with church people. you’ll never lose. and if you do lose youre a punk and you deserve it.

    i didnt say anything.

    thats right you didnt say anything. and they didnt laugh at anything.

    i looked him from his toes to his head and said, and they were talking to nobody.

    and looked at him in the eyes.

    nobody.

    and a better man would have whipped it out and taken that leak right there, but i was now late for my fucking bus.

    katie hall