1. Wednesday, March 12, 2003

    the president said that he would give me a car if i did a pro war photo essay. 

    i said no.

    he said two cars, then.

    and for some reason it’s easier to say no to two things than one thing

    even though it shouldnt.

    if he had offered ten cars that woulda been really easy to turn down because where would you park all those cars?

    he said, what about a sailboat.

    i said, what about two sailboats?

    he said, deal!

    i said, no i was only asking.

    a voice on the phone said that they would give me a corvette, a cashier’s check for ten thousand dollars, and one presidential pardon, but that would be their final offer.

    i said, legalize pot and i’ll do it.

    then they called me a bunch of names.

    i said, legalize pot and i’ll make you two pro war photo essays.

    then they called my dear mother a bunch of names.

    so i said, okay, what about if i made you ten pro war photo essays, then will you legalize pot?

    they said, what about for medicinal use?

    i said, deal!

    they said, no, they were only seeking clarification.

    i dont smoke the pot but i dont think that those who do are seeking clarification.

    i bought five boxes of girl scout cookies from a girl scout today.

    she said they were going to take the money and go on a ski trip because many of the girls had never seen snow.

    i asked her if she had ever seen the snow and she had to look up at her mother for the answer.

    and now you know why they dont let the girl scouts bake the cookies any more.

    this guy just got his permit + xrated puma ads