1. Monday, March 10, 2003

    you’ve never heard me call anyone a slut, have you? 

    ever? no. i don’t do that.

    i admire people who have interesting lives.

    some of the people who write me have interesting lives. and some of these people are very young. some might say too young to have such interesting lives.

    and i do my best not to judge.

    some of these people are hot young ladies. and some of them write in to tell me that they want to make sensual love to me.

    and sometimes i even believe them.

    one thing that fascinates me about the young people today is they seem to have no clue whatsoever about how diseases are spread, nor do they care to comprehend it when you tell them.

    i used to worry about overpopulation in america, but not any more.

    these young kids with their bad music are content with fucking each other without condoms, spreading nasty shit, and all die off.

    all of them.

    a friend of mine was telling me about the porn industry.

    im not cool enough to know anything about the porn industry, so i have to rely on “friends.”

    this friend was telling me that in the history of adult films, only a handful of straight porn stars since the ’70s have died of sexually transmitted diseases. part of it is due to the fact that they are regularly tested.

    some of these young girls make me want to cry.

    everything in the world going for them.

    if i ever have daughters im going to buy a gun.

    and when they get into high school im going to show them my gun, and im going to walk them to the attic, and there we will put the gun in a box.

    and i will tell them that if they ever have sex without a condom, they should towel off, have the young man drop them off at home, climb the stairs to the attic, open the box and take out the gun, and shoot me right in the head.

    and then shoot me in the belly so i bleed.

    but i always try to look at the bright side of life.

    traffic will go down.

    where i grew up in illinois, we lived out in the farms.

    it took us 45 minutes to get to downtown chicago.

    right now it takes chris 45 minutes to get from santa monica to hollywood.

    you know how ridiculous that is?

    you know what the kids should be reckless with?

    not their pussies.

    they should be reckless with their hair dos.

    and their musical tastes.

    they should write poems better than their parents.

    they should wear obnoxious clothes

    they should be reckless with their html

    and their thoughts on the written word, on how to learn, how to teach.

    but a hot young body is a terrible thing to waste.

    guys will wear condoms.

    make them.

    dumbfucks.