1. Saturday, April 12, 2003

    if i had a adult video store, i’d call it Ass 

    i think it would be funny to see Ass in huge red letters as you drove down a street. i admire people who can take something people buy every day and turn it into a huge chain.

    like how the guy from Blockbuster made Blockbuster. and how Dominos Pizza just one day was everywhere. people seriously stopped going to their local, folksy, funky pizza palors and stores and started renting at Blockbuster and buying books at Barnes and Noble.

    i think the man or woman who figures out how to launch the first adult video rental store chain deserves the buttload of money that they will receive.

    and i think it would be awesome if they called the place Ass.

    i would also like to have a club called Prom.

    once a month there’d be a prom. tuxedos, dresses, punch, limos, eighties music.

    i know i’d like to do prom over again.

    it wouldnt really be a great place for a first date, but it would be a perfect place to go once you were starting to get serious with someone.

    hey, would you like to go to prom with me?

    omg, are you serious?

    why, yes.

    yes! yes i will!

    then a bunch of her friends would want to go, so then youd get some of your buddies. rent a limo. everyone gets some.

    tony gets paid.

    if i had a book store id call it The Springfield Book Depository.

    unlike most book stores i’d have a whole wall of Charles Bukowski books. it would be the ultimate place for bukowski stuff.

    there would be a poetry reading room in the back, but i wouldnt ever go, i dont like poetry readings.

    thered be a tiny record store upstairs full of out of print bootlegs, and posters.

    if i had a liquor store i’d call it No Smokes

    cuz cigarettes will kill you.

    bettie girl + anti + ginacide