1. Tuesday, April 1, 2003

    jennifer garner called me up 

    and said its april fools day, maybe you should do a post today and make it all true.

    i said, nah.

    put on my clothes, brushed my teeth and kissed her on the forehead and took the bus back to my house.

    i dont like showering in strange places.

    man on the radio was complaining that men complain to much. especially the american ones.

    for some reason i thought immediately of andy rooney.

    winner of the greatest job in the world contest.

    i wonder how much andy would pay me to write his shit.

    that way all hes got to do is show up for two minutes a week and not even think about anything.

    how much would you pay not to have to even think about anything?

    went to work then came home and made a tv dinner.

    usually i dont eat tv dinners, but im exhausted tonight for some reason.

    cracked open the old time favorite, salisburry steak.

    somehow theyve turned the simple process of preparing a tv dinner (take dinner out of box, put it into microwave, press Quick Start + 3) into… cooking.

    today i had to flip over the “steak”, pull back the plastic over the potatoes, stir the potatoes, and then put it in for a few more minutes.

    ended up having to put a slice of pizza into the toaster oven afterwards.

    fell asleep, woke up and write you.

    vodka pundit + almost bathing suit season + urban chic + my readers dont do that!