1. Thursday, April 10, 2003

    people like to cut in line when the bus arrives. 

    they see the line and still they sneak in at the sides without a care in the world.

    sometimes they smile with their dirty teeth.

    my mom is a world traveler and she noticed that in other parts of the world cutting in line isnt such a big deal.

    some of the people dont like to move to the right on the escalators. i saw a woman today, she was asked to step to the right as a man climbed the escalator, she moved over maybe one centimeter and gave him a dirty look and then went back to blocking the way.

    almost all of the people are incredibly attracted to me. if theres no more seats and im standing in the front of the bus, everyone stands as close to me as possible in the front of the bus.

    if i stand in the middle of the bus, theres a huge bottleneck in the middle.

    if i stand in the rear of the bus, suddenly thats the most popular area.

    they all like to rub their asses up against me as they pass by, and once theyve passed and see theres no empty seats in the back they stand right next to me. whole bus to spread out in, they like to stand up against me.

    people like to sneeze at me. they like to cough on me. they like my ass. a lot.

    if i was gay i would be the happiest man on the bus.

    homeless man sitting on the bus had his homeless bag next to him. he kept nodding off. instead of nodding to the left or right, due to his bad posture he kept nodding forward smashing his head up against the headrest in front of him. i laughed. eventually he woke up smiling realizing his nightmare was simply mine.

    old woman whose head wouldnt stop shaking like katherine hepburn didnt see there was a seat open near the back. then she saw it finally and a young man beat her to the seat. big fat man was standing blocking the back door. i gave the young man the evil eye and he tried to ignore me. so i said, get up.

    he got up.

    and the day had begun.