1. Tuesday, April 15, 2003

    soon as i got home 

    i had all these messages. ignored em. turned on e!, they were having the golden hanger awards.

    i dont care what any of you say, i like joan rivers. shes a classic.

    made a pot of rice. i have this little pot. heats up the rice fast. im not cooking for eight.

    saturday i george formaned six chicken breasts, and ive been eating them like crazy. i put the rice in a bowl, then a hunk of chicken on top, microwave it for two minutes.

    heat up some peas.

    eat, repeat, eat, repeat.

    ive been eating like a damn pig.

    got ten bucks from bunsen today. i was a little nervous cuz there was no flow for a week.

    didnt help that i hadnt talked about it for a week.

    you know this thing is going to work, dont you.

    47. bunsen

    i think i have rounded down the choices to a mini cooper or a saturn.

    ive had ridiculously good luck in saturns.

    anyhow, to celebrate the flow from my man bunsen, heres another picture of meesh.

    she just told me the greatest story.

    her story.

    i have heard some pretty interesting tales from some truly interesting women, good people.

    strange and beautiful stories, my friends.

    starring hot girls and the men… and women… who lusted them.

    after i ate my chicken and rice i got on the instant messenger and this young girl. legal, but obscenely young.

    she said things to me, even after seeing my picture.

    i sent her two just incase.

    big ones.

    she sent me some pictures of herself and typed the most perfect pleas.

    it took everything to resist stealing a car and driving all night.

    i was distracted by lisa marie presley being interviewed by howard stern.

    are all the women in the world perfect today?

    howard: [regarding michael jackson first kissing her] did he tounge you?

    lisa marie: did he do what?

    howard: did he give you the tounge?

    lisa marie: will you… stop it?

    howard: yes.

    lisa marie: thank you. {pause} i married the m-f, so…

    howard: did he spank you?

    lisa marie: no.

    howard: did nicolas cage spank you?

    lisa marie: i dont want to talk about it.

    howard.: he did. i knew it. i would tie you up and spank you.

    lisa marie: really?

    howard. yeah.

    lisa marie: good.

    howard: absolutely.

    lisa marie: good.

    howard: you wouldnt even know what hit you. right, robin?

    robin: thats right. but can you even tell us… were you sexually satisfied by michael jackson?

    lisa marie: um, you know… uh… see…

    howard: the answer is either yes or no.

    lisa maire: the answer would be, would i have married someone that i wasnt.

    saturn + mini cooper