1. Friday, April 18, 2003

    theres not enough food in the world for me 

    im eating like a pig and chris told me that i looked skinnier and whatshername said i look skinnier and i have been pretty good about just water or diet pepsi at work and im making my own lunch.

    ever since me and chris broke up i have been fascinated by animal magnetism.

    in sports they call it chemistry.

    sometimes there becomes conflict when someone who you are mentally physically and emotionally attracted to, and animally magnetized to, does some fucked up shit that pushes you away.

    then somehow they become very far away. then they get very very close, physically. then feelings return.

    and then your astrology becomes realized and you want to cry.

    cuz you miss her.

    and she feels good when you hold her.

    and your sorry that you heard her cry on the phone the other day. since what she had to say was so nice.

    the balls in your court they say. but the balls always in my court.

    i dont want to make the wrong desicion. weight of the world. wait.

    when i lived in san francisco i didnt live on haight street for the first two years that i was there.

    then when i did i thought, why the hell didnt i live here on day one.

    my astrology this week tells me to go for the things that i really want.

    not really want, but really really want.

    no more bullshitting.

    and there are two things that i know i really really want.

    one of them i know i cant get cuz even though i would be perfect, well, sometimes, kids, you dont get it anyway.

    im not going to get that one.

    the other one i could probably get.

    and yet neither of those is what i want most of all.

    and that is to write really well, on my blog

    every damn day.

    to all of you.

    treacher + vote for dc’s bikini girl + anti with the fisheye