1. Saturday, April 12, 2003

    two soul sisters from compton 

    have made womens tennis totally boring.

    and yet the brotha named tiger has made


    magically watchable

    even on television.

    my man had to chip out of the fucking sand yesterday in hopes to par the 18th so as to make the cut to even play today.

    chipped it, parred it, hes still in the Masters.

    so after starting this morning in 43rd place, motherfucker tucks himself to sleep tonight in

    fifth place

    after completely making a joke out of all the finest players in golf

    on the most famously racist and sexist course.

    the marines at the agency always want to bring up nicklaus and palmer and to piss them off i tell them that theyre so lucky that they didnt have to play tiger.

    then i tell them about stockton and malone, which is what arnie and jack would have been if tiger was a hundred years older.

    my kids will never ask me about the mailman.

    some asswipe will get lucky with the pickandroll in 2020 and pretend like he invented it, but we’ll know better.

    its raining tonight in hollywood and im thinking about guys who never won shit, and guys who always found a way to win, and its good to think about both of them.

    i dont care that im not making a lot right now.

    scottie pippen didnt make a lot until his 6th world championship.

    what if to get your ideal job you had to take a 25% cut in your already ridiculously low salary?

    and i am crazy enough to do something like that.

    start from the bottom, at my age.

    but at least this time it’s the bottom of something i totally love.

    tiger was 40 feet away from the hole

    tapped it right of the cup

    it had to go up a hill a little

    made it up okay

    then it had to curve over to the left hard while going slightly downhill

    about twelve feet away

    curved left


    rolled downhill

    and slowly so very slowly

    found its way into the bottom of the hole.

    that sixty six moved him up thirty eight spots

    and now hes only four shots from the lead

    for your sunday afternoon asses.

    [update: never mind]

    jason sutter + jason shellon +kottke