have i told you that life isnt fair?
have i told you that work is hell sometimes like on hot days up in a whirlybird when all you want to do is take off your shoes and walk on the beach for even 15 minutes.
i want to take off my shirt and lay in the sun and listen to floyd zep doors dead santana janes pixies angus malcom, me and the ladies went to rock n roll thai the other night and first they put in pixies doolittle then they put in porno for pyros and i couldnt have picked two better cds or ten better dishes that we munched to.
i want to borrow somebodys golden retriever and somebody elses frisbee and somebody elses girlfriend and somebody elses convertible and i want to drive everyone to zuma where i belong today.
have i told you ive had the most wonderful life?
do you know i have the bestest friends and the nicest inbox.
when im up here chasing criminals and listenening to all the drama in my earpiece the best way for me to protect my soul is to remember that this thing could collapse any minute and the next minute i will be a splat on the 405 only to be cooked by the firey explosion and rush hour traffic.
so i think about the nice things, like spider rings and candy necklaces on girls with experience.
the devil messes with my hairline and my dumb face and my kidneys and my confidence but the angels send a parade of miracles my way every damn day.
cubs are still in first place.
cubs will stay in first place.
this guy we’re staking out doesnt know there are twenty xbi agents listening to his every word.
he keeps singing living la vida loca to himself.
one of our guys is calling him gay, but our info says hes not gay. now the debate is whether or not its gay to be humming or singing or whistling ricky martin.
now one of our sharpshooters, a woman, is asking us why we men are so concerned if someone is gay or not.
now i cant get that stupid song out of my head.
now im singing it in my microphone.
now lots of people are singing it in their microphones!
now im laughing.