1. Tuesday, May 13, 2003

    hi america, canada, europe, isla vista, and all our ships at sea 

    one of the interns is gearing up for the matrix screening tomorrow at midnight by playing the soundtack from the original. manson, then propellorheads. quite a way to greet the morining: with brass knuckles.

    had a date last night.

    hot chick, couldnta been more than 24-25. gorgeous eyes. color of suede on a rainstorm at midnight with a full moon in a black and white movie.

    she was all over me. finally. god its been a long time. to feel the curve of the small of a woman’s back. to feel her hips pushing closer to mine. soft skin below the ear lobe. stinky breath of cloves. to reach underneath and nearly snap the thin g string.

    tanned everything. bloodshot eyes from smoking and drinking on a monday night. i know im not worthy to receive anything, but only say the word and i will be– this girl likes to scratch. i totally forgot about that. and here i am a sensitive poet. she likes to bite too. she likes to slap. i look like i lost a street fight. i look like i got thrown in a sack with a thousand cats. i look like hell, but i guess thats nothing new.

    all my move-making music is in winamp, but as you probably know all that is on a computer full of viruses, so we had to do things the old fashioned way, compact discs. that meant getting up and changing things every 45 minutes. you know youre doing ok if you make your way through four cds before throwing in the towel.

    in the morning she was gone, but left behind a sweet note telling me that it was better than she remembered and any time i wanted to invite her over again she’d say yes.

    some girls just know how to live.

    fucking love that.

    rolled into work nearly on time this morning and read the comments that you all left. god i love you all.

    why are you so good to me?

    normally i would have read them all minutes after you posted them because i am glued to my computer most nights, doing dumb things like sex chatting college girls in manitoba or making lopsided trades for fantasy baseball, or trying to write poems, or trying to arrange the thousands of photographs that ive taken in the last month, or trying to design a good web page, or trying to write something of interest, or trying or trying or trying, and yoda was right, trying takes up all your time, its the doing that we need to do more of.

    to do, to be, to get done, to do, i do, i be, i am because i was done, so far from done, so far from it, so far so bad, so bad so good.

    the approval that women can give is unbelievable. i wish you girls knew even what a smile could do. not to mention a whisper.

    or a french kiss on an italian fender on a los feliz corner

    in america.

    sepi + uppity negro + all about george