1. Friday, May 16, 2003

    like everyone, i have my critics 

    sometimes i just think mine are a tad less intelligent than yours.

    one guy writes me nearly every day. sometimes long letters, sometimes short letters.

    i never write him back because i barely have time to write back the good people who write me nice things.

    for all the people out there, by the way, who write me nice things, be it comments on the site, or emails or boobie pictures, etc. thank you very much. all the nice things make me so happy.

    so anyhow, this one critic of mine today tried to get on me because everything i write “is all about me”.

    dumbass, look at the url.

    this whole freaking thing is an excersise in first person narcisistic fiction about a superhero xbi agent who steals from crooks and adorns his beach house and hollywood bungalow with the booty, and then dates barely legal teens.

    how hard is that to understand?

    also how hard is it to conceive that if i was a decent writer who was capable of things like record reviews, political analyis, or even basic sentence structure, i would be getting paid for this shit as opposed to giving it all away like a fucking bitch.

    on a good day i look at 15-20 web sites. i never write mean emails to people. even if they deserve it. and trust me, lots of people deserve some negative feedback.

    occasionally, on rare occassions, i will write the author of a web page. usually i write very short emails saying nice work.

    if even a tenth of the readers wrote me an occasional short email or left a short comment saying nice work, id have 40-50 comments on my page each day. it’s not about the numbers though. im over the idea of comments on this blog. im just saying.

    anyhow, the critic also doesnt like the fact that i grammar bad.

    fuck grammar. if i seriously paid attention to the things that i wrote on here i would probably only get one post out a day. im averaging three, and all of them are better than my critic’s emails.

    again, i do this during the 15 minute government mandated breaks that i take during work. i also do this for the period of my lunch when im not lunching. that gives very little time to spell check, grammar check, or even proofread my shit. what you see is what i felt at the moment and sometimes (like last week) you might find a post that is missing an entire sentence, or end of sentence, so dont be so weirded out if a line is missing a period, mr. critic.

    just because your momma missed her period 9 months before you were born dont get all uptight about me missing my periods

    heres a bunch of periods for your ass. feel free to place them in any post that i forgot to use them in: …………………………………………………………………………………

    and heres a fuck you for your inbox.

    for the rest of you, i love you all. i hope you each have a pleasant weekend like klinger (pictured). i know i will. i have a blind date tonight, i get to see my favorite band tomorrow night, and i get to sit around in my boxer shorts and do nothing on sunday.

    the only thing that could make this weekend better is if the cubbies swept the cardinals.

    much love,


    i heart raymi + i heart party girls + i dont know who Quinn is