1. Sunday, June 29, 2003

    Charlie’s Angels 2: Full Throttle 

    starring Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Lucy Lui, Demi Moore, Bernie Mac

    directed by McG

    clippergirls cousin has a funny way about her. she says shes gonna drive me somewhere and then she doesnt take me there. she calls it kidnapping the famous blogger.

    i tell her that a thousand readers a day isnt fame. she says i get more than a thousand that my counter is shit. i say even if its two thousand its still not fame. she says everyone wants more. i say i do want more. but not more more, better more. i want girls to fall in love with me more and companies to hand over blank checks more and former english teachers to take it all back more and for me to look at my page a week after and laugh more.

    actually i do get that one sometimes.

    we were supposed to be heading to the wessssside to go to my old college roommate sam’s house to go see a movie together, just he and i but instead she drove me to manns chinese and we watched charlies angels 2, which was a little weird because part of it was filmed there, and ashley was an extra there, and i had never been inside the famous manns chinese ever before.

    it was also weird cuz she wanted to hold my hand and i didnt wanna but she insisted and i didnt want to have any bad feelings while we were watching the totally watchable movie.

    i love mcg‘s style and the pace and the imagination of it all. im glad filmmakers are willing to just go crazy in movies now and have fun doing it. it is just a fucking movie, after all. we do want escapism. we dont want to think about jobs and bosses and fighting crime and the fact that after the movie a perfectly good half japanese twenty year old is going to want to get it on and i will have to say no. again.

    i can be such a dick when a girl likes me and i dont like her that way and i hate feeling that way. i am not a dick. it makes me totally appreciate karisa cuz she puts up with that all the time and i dont ever see her act differently, i wonder how she does it.

    boys do want a little thrill of a chase. and as a libra, i want a little balance. i want her to want me like i want her. and i do want clippergirls cousin on a certain level. it would be fun to just mess around on a sunday night in a scary hollywood park after the softball lights flicker off or behind the three of clubs or in a back seat or in the la coliseum top row with airplanes flying overhead. but this girl is young and she will fall in love and not with me but with the closeness. and who can blame her. youre supposed to, after all.

    romance is the one thing thats always missing in action films and it shouldnt be that way. make it a lovestory that gets fucked up by bad guys who kidnap the girl and the guy has to action movie his way into finding her and capturing her. its easy. make him do super romantical things during his quest. make him send homing pigeons to her. make him send smoke signals. make him shoot a guy in the chest with a machine gun and make the bullets form a heart in his torso.

    make him have a plane that spells out words in the sky that says tony plus ilka.

    make him nearly kill a bad guy and make him take off the bad guys shirt and put on her favorite shirt of his and send him back to the bad guys headquarters. little signs that he loves her and hes thinking of her and he misses her and she should know hes gonna find her and live happily ever after. even though ive never seen one person live happily ever after. never mind two.

    the xbi has done things like this before, but not romantic things.

    we’ve carved out messages in the dead hit men before.

    i havent, of course. i respect the dead, even though theyre dead. but i dont protest it either because crazy people need to know that theres someone just a little more crazy out there, and it helps if the crazy think that the super crazy work with me and will carve some shit into them if theyre caught slippin.

    afterwards we ate at mcdonalds and didnt talk about the film, but talked about the music and the tshirts instead.

    i thought about ashley alot while watching the movie and when i got home she had called and clippergirls cousin was stepping into something a lot more comfortable and she sneered at the caller id that said “ashley, cell phone”.

    shes a darker skinned girl. i think shes part hawaiian and when shes naked it doesnt seem naked it seems normal. especially on a warm june night when im not going to have sex with her im not even gonna kiss her and im listening to evan dando sing with julianna hatfield about being drug buddies and im past doing drugs anymore but i still appreciate that song cuz its about friendship and im such a big fan of that even though im a rotten friend and that was the best theme of charlies angels two: full throttle.

    that, and that demi moore is still a hot piece of ass.

    shellen + vodka pundit + little green footballs